Kira was a chat moderator and my friend.
She will be missed.
Mac
foxytaur (imported) wrote: Tue Dec 11, 2012 11:56 pm see this is the kinda of stuff that has me concerned regarding employability. I often envision myself as a future lynn conway especially more-so since I'm exactly following in her foosteps in the semiconductor and microprocessors industry.
I really want to develop embedded chip designs and find workarounds to complex issues with integrated IC chips.
I deeply want to transition but the part that does scare me is my chances of employability.
As for friends, Im not really worried I got the furries. It's a very accepting subculture for gender fluid folk.
My parents are another issue though I knew from way back id be shunned by them so meh.(My relationship is sour grapes with my mom.
Dad's less lenient except mom wears the pants in the house.
I can be grateful that i have accepting sisters though. I wish things could get better for everyone but I see that can't be the case for everyone.
It saddens me suicide is the path some folk choose but everyones life is different. Who am I to judge.
Id never do it
1. I have a very spiritual connection with my surroundings. I try to question the best of my ability my relevance in this world? what primary function i carry in this world?.....I challenge this bc heck I'm agnostic religious.
The world doesnt neccearily need a god for a thrivable society to function however I have certain misgivings that we are created out of nothingness for the sole purpose to perform a function and then cease to exist. I like to hope that there is an afterlife, a force that allows us to continue our journeys. Our mortal bodies inhibit this. after all, we haven't explored the wonders of quantum theory. 13 theoretical dimensions my friends(that's string theory). the possibilities are endless on what awaits us in the vastness of the mega chaotic. My divergent mind leads me to think try this life to the best of your ability and learn from it. Who knows what awaits your next life?
2. Suicide won't change everyones perception of you. some people naturally are cold hearted bastards. And if youve seen the movie "prayers for bobbie" ; it took a mothers gay son to commit suicide for the mother to change her ways and analyse her perpective of the lgbt comunity. Unfortunately not many bigots will change their ways. In fact some go as far as to say "good!!!!, that fag or tranny deserved it, dies from aids or whatever and its good he aint here, saves me face" ----yes that's right i have 2 family members who are like this.
My mom is as bad as a radical tea party republican. I can't change her. I'll move on without her as deeply as it hurts me to say that. I actually forgive her still. I feel sorry for her that she refuses to listen. I dont expect acceptance. but understanding.
3. I'm just too chicken shit to commit suicide.