Hurricane Prepardness (Part II )

[Studlover (imported)]

In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies: 23

flashlights At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the power

goes off, to be the wrong size for the flashlights. Bleach. (No, I don't

know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the bleach is for, but it's

traditional, so GET some!) A 55-gallon drum of underarm deodorant. A big

knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a hurricane,

but it looks cool.) A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the

alligators. (Ask anybody who went through Camille; after the hurricane,

there WILL be irate alligators.) $35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after

the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no

discernible

teeth.

Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it

is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on

your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next

to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for

everybody to stay away from the ocean.

Good luck, and remember: It's great living in Paradise!

[aria_tg (imported)]

don't forget the wiccan ritual of purchasing as much plywood as you can get your hands on.

somehow buying up all available supplies of plywood balances the forces of nature and cause

the hurricane to go somewhere else.

I have never understood this ritual since it seems that the same people buy the plywood each time.

What... dont they save their plywood from year to year?

Possibly the earth mother is angry when she sees to many of her lovely trees turned into ugly plywood stacks. By purchasing it and spreading it out, away from the lumber yard, will trick the god to turn the hurricane to Florida where the heathens are not smart enough to hide their plywood.