Valuation & Love Of Oneself....Or Not - The Reasons Why

[loveableleopardy (imported)]

I am not sure if this thread belongs in this area. Perhaps the EA requires an area for 'other' or something, or discussion about humanity?

I've been doing some pondering today, about my high valuation of self, even though I don't have a family, and even if I did then I probably wouldn't be a particularly good provider (at least in monetary terms). I don't have a job that earns bucketloads in terms of cash and/or respect. In fact my 2 published books have sold next to nothing. Certainly I have made squat from them. Yet I still value myself super dooper highly. I think that this is a good sign for humanity, in that we are evolving even further. Cause one thing of great importance is to have women value themselves for more than their physical attractiveness (this coming from a guy who viewed a lot of beautiful women in porn last night, but that don't mean that I value them highly), and this can seem difficult to achieve if we were not evolving a great deal in some ways. So if I as a guy can value myself highly despite being virtually useless at anything that I should need to be good at to value myself (not a handyman either folks), then this should be possible for most men and women.

It could be strongly argued that I love myself because I am loved by others, but also, which came first? Or is it a combination? Because to be loved greatly it is possibly required to love yourself greatly too.

I would like to write more, but have to get back to work. Would value peoples opinions on this subject matter.

[Riverwind (imported)]

Always follow your dream, ok you have written and had 2 books published, write a third and fourth. When that one book finally hits the big time so will all the others. Never give up.

River

ps, this is the right place for this thread.

[loveableleopardy (imported)]

Thankyou River. But I believe that my dream was to be loved (outside of family) and this has been accomplished

My third book will most definitely be written (though I haven't approached a publisher yet). If that hit the big time then it doesn't mean the others would. That's kind of a joke, cause my books are all very different - sports, autobiography, fantastic fantasy fiction.

Perhaps the fourth could be a metaphoric animalistic mini life timeline. It's the journey to get to the finished product which is probably even more rewarding than the finished product itself.

Though I do like to read my own writing lol.

[janekane (imported)]

As I read the postings on this thread, something I recall from Thomas Merton came to mind, and I recall it goes like this:

"Do not depend on the hope of results --

When you are doing the sort of work that you have taken on, you may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no worth at all, if not results opposite to what you expect.

As you get used to this idea, you will start more and more to concentrate not on the results, but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself."

[loveableleopardy (imported)]

As I read the postings on this thread, something I recall from Thomas Merton came to mind, and I recall it goes like this:

"Do not depend on the hope of results --

When you are doing the sort of work that you have taken on, you may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no worth at all, if not results opposite to what you expect.

As you get used to this idea, you will start more and more to concentrate not on the results, but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself."

I very much like this quote Jane, and thankyou for contributting to my thread. Your input always adds high intelligence and will hopefully INFLUENCE others to make their own posts.

Kinda on your discussion - or perhaps not - I think that one of the great things with believers (in religious Gods and so forth) is that there is such a strong belief in fate, and that what they do is controlled entirely by God. It means that it is easier to accept things, "oh that was Gods plan", and less self-blame for anything that is perceived to have gone wrong.

I had a friend in Morocco who was a very strong Muslim, and he seemed to never plan his next day (though he didn't have a regular job) as I asked him at least once as to what his plans were for tomorrow and he answered, "I don't know, but God will decide" or something. It was like when he woke up in the morning, 'God' would let him know what the day had in store for him.

I believe that we can take something from religion in this way, without having to believe in an all controlling omnipotent force (are they the correct terms?). For really, how much of life do we control? I for one believe that it is already written.

Our natural instincts (or parents perhaps) have their influence, and others enter our lives (often in totally unforseen ways) and do the same. It was already decided that these people would have their influence, we just didn't know it before it happened. For example, as far as I know, The Butterfly Effect, Back To The Future scenarios are not realistic. Nobody is changing your past, present and future, and thank god for that. Imagine if a form of transport had hit someone and sent them to hospital on the 21/12/06 and they hadn't made it to a bar? Imagine the changes in my life that would have happened or not as opposed to what has? It's impossible to quantity just how much would change. And I totally couldn't forsee that event (meeting her, thankfully the form of transport didn't interrupt us) actually happening, and the effect that it would have on me.

Same with having a girlfriend in Germany. It's incredibly obscure and major odds for something like that to happen. It's only (made possible) because we both like an obscure singer. And how did I even get to know her? From simply buying an album of random songs from women around the world, none of which I had previously heard. So my somewhat openmindedness led to this purchase, and then other events flew on from there. It was all already written, even if I couldn't see it.

Because I already had some desire to discover new music. Which was born out of what? I'm not really sure, but it was always going to develop and happen.

Tonight I am being influenced. Bella is often demanding my attention, and at times she has been squeeking her toy heaps, which makes it difficult to concentrate, on whatever it was I was 'going' to write here earlier. But whatever is going to be written, was already decided, at least in a way.

The whole 'fate' thing doesn't mean that we shouldn't aspire to great goals in life. It doesn't mean that we shouldn't strive for what we greatly desire. For that is all a part of the fate. That we influence others and that they influence us. We shouldn't just hide away from the world.

Unless that is in Gods plan lol.

So I think that the best balance is to believe that a lot (or all?) of our life is out of our control, but that we should still try to influence it. So okay, perhaps that sounds like a very complicated statement (maybe I am finally moving onto your plane of thinking not so plain Jane hehehe), but I like it. We should set goals, but be easier on ourselves if the desired outcomes are not achieved.

The story of my life has already been written.

I am just waiting for that next page to turn.

[loveableleopardy (imported)]

Rather off topic, but something interesting to look at is how it is more natural (logical?) for an older man to be with a younger woman. There is the fact that women physically develop a couple of years earlier, but that is not all. Women are often loveable for being....women, whereas a large part of a man's loveabililty comes from his self-confidence, and it is only the love from other women that can give him that confidence, and make him highly loveable.

Yes, you get your cougars that are out there 'devouering' younger guys, but these guys still tend to be twenty-six rather than sixteen. The Justin Biebers of the world are few and far between lol.