another chem-castration trial

[erikboy (imported)]

Having been around many years, it is now my turn to try how eunuchdom feels in real life. Today is day one under influence of androcur. starting with 150mg day.

It is planned as one month trial, despite I would have liked to try it 2 or even 3 months. I hope I would not vanish after announcement as I have seen it quite often.

[kristoff]

Having been around many years, it is now my turn to try how eunuchdom feels in real life. Today is day one under influence of androcur. starting with 150mg day.

It is planned as one month trial, despite I would have liked to try it 2 or even 3 months. I hope I would not vanish after announcement as I have seen it quite often.

Well, at least now you will get a good sampling. Good for you.

[erikboy (imported)]

It is now more than one day passed since start.

The whole thing has been very emotional for me. So much excitement. So many thoughts. So many different point of views. So many feelings.

From technical point I decided to start with buildup dose in first 2 days. Androcur half-life is 40 hours. So, this substance will accumulate quite slowly in your system. So I try not to overdose and avoid too abrupt changes. To my calculations I have around 275mg of this substance accumulated in my system, and I will not exceed 310mg in my system. I will keep then dosage between 220 and 270 (equivalent of taking 100mg a day) as it does its work for a week or until I feel I could reduce the dose.

I started this trial with abstaining from any sexual release for about a week. To have this feeling of urge for sexual release. And I want to see if it disappears or how it changes.

So far I have not noticed much changes. May be tiny tiny changes. Due to all that excitement I couldn't get sleep very easy. But I can tell that there is some change in sleep. It is more shallow. I'm not sure whether it is due to T-deprivation or direct androcur side effect. But I certainly feel at times that I have something in my system. I feel different.

Then my penis seem to look much smaller if not in use. And it seems to me that it takes longer to get it hard. Despite I woke with massive hard on today morning. We'll see what will happen next morning

About my emetions, I have been very happy while socializing with other people. I can't explain that, as I do not think about my chem cast while talking to others. May be it is my background emotional setting.

I look now different at other males. As I am about to become eunuch, and they continue to be fully functional. There is some regret and twist in that. I notice them as full males. Strange. But nothing serious. Kinda kinky.

Yesturday I was talking to a 15yo boy and then that feeling was most prominent. As he was probably feeling all testosterone effects increasing and I was instead loosing all T-effects. Strange again, we were on different slopes. I felt very old suddenly. And a lot of thinking. I have never noticed other males this way.

I eat less. Probably due to excitement. I feel strange warmness in my hands. Very slight, but noticeable.

I still could get hard quite quick. No big differences there. Only start might take longer.

thats all by now.

[erikboy (imported)]

My Androcur supply is short, but I want to have 2-3 months trial instead of few weeks. I checked all possibilities to have more Androcur, but it seems that sources are not acceptable for me due to various reasons. Plus no online drugstores would deliver Androcur to my country. The only other option that came to my mind is to contact people who have surplus Androcur from previous trials and are willing to sell it, who live in EU or have other means to access Androcur source. I live in EU and it is quite easy to send stuff using postal service.

If you feel, you can help me, please contact me privately!

[erikboy (imported)]

It is now 2,5 days. I woke up with hard on again. But the day was generally calmer, with less emotions. Felt like pretty normal day and I was forgetting time to time what is going on inside me. Again, emotional background was positive and I felt happy to socialize. Felt special when thinking about becoming a secret eunuch. Felt energetic. Strange, I should feel energy loss instead. But it is too early I think.

Despite my continuos Androcur levels are at the highest range 260-300ng in the system, I don'tfeel anymore like I have something unnatural in my body. Seems like body is adapting.

I haven't masturbated for mor than a week. But there is almost no T-buzz as I call this feeling when abstaining for longer periods. I am not sure what is the reason. Dropping T or excitement.

Otherwise no other changes worth of mention. Still can get it hard with ease.

[erikboy (imported)]

3,5 days. I think I am starting to feel some effects.

First, there is a real problem with sleep. It is more difficult to fell asleep and I woke up very easy. Like today morning after having slept for 4 hours I woke up, then as I felt tired soon was able to sleep 2 more hours and after theat 2 more hours. No hard ons this time. Tiredness I felt, was much different than usual tiredness. I felt disconnected, thin and slow. But as I started to do my everyday activities I returned almost to normal feeling. Today I masturbated 3 times within 5 hours. I was surprised about the amount and force of ejaculation. But semen itself looked more watery than usual. I am not sure what is the reason.

Then my emotions seem to deviate from zero more than usual. It was a surprise again that negative things said to me toda,y that usually do not affect me much, were about to derail me emotionally. That thing I don't like, but knowing the reason helps me much easier and faster to put myself together. It is only beginning, if it is going to get much more severe, it would not be tolerable. Still at the same time it teaches me how to keep emotions balanced and not allow them to overflow. At times I have felt uncerntainty whether I want to continue this trial. Fortunately it is only temporary. And it seems that I can adapt and learn how to deal with new feelings. I hope so.

I feel that my movements are slower, like I am moving slower than normal.

Then due to that general slowness my thinking paterns seemed to be slow too and there was certain emptiness between thoughts. Is this a sign of eunuch calm? Then this is littlebit different than I expected.

So far so good

[erikboy (imported)]

4,5 days. Testosterone deprivation starts to kick in. So called tiredness is almost constant. But it differs from tiredness I have known so far. It feels different. My muscles seem to respond much differently than they used to. That causes feeling of slowness. Today I took a long walk, I didn't made me overly tired or out of breath, it just took more willpower to force my muscles to work. My body feels heavier. I will get used to that. Actually I kinda enjoyed these effects of eunuchdom. When I sit down at the computer I do not feel any different.

I did masturbate 3 times again. I still can get good orgasms. Only it takes little more effort to start it up. And my semen looks more watery and clearer than ever. Various sexual stimuli do not activate me much. It feels almost the same like after good sex or masturbation there is little interest to continue. Only it is somehow connected to this general tiredness.

I feel that I react little bit different to various situations. That difference is tine and I have to monitor it more before I could describe it.

As I am aware of much widened emotional range and the ease how I could be derailed emotionally I am more cautious. It is possible to manage emotions and put strong emotions temporarily aside to deal with them later. And not to dwell on something bad.

Hot flashes haven't been serious so far. they are hardly noticeable. Since day 2. So that I am not even sure what it was.

It all feels more different than I had imagined.

I wonder if surgical castration effects will feel the same? If psychological aspects of real castration are ignored? And some known Androcur related side effects ignored?

Any experience?

[erikboy (imported)]

5,5 days. It is really something with sleep. I sleep less. It is harder to fell asleep. Sleep feels different. I wake up earlier. I don't feel sleepy. Instead, when I used to feel sleepy I feel just more tired.

No morning wood today. I had plenty of physical activity. I myself feel heavy and things seem to be heavier than before.

This "tiredness" feeling extends to my penis, so it feels especially tired and unresponsive.

About eunuch calm. An example. With T in my system, when I need to pack things into my bag, I got emotionally connected with the feeling of need to have it done, and I did it as fast as possible feeling relief when got it done.

Now I look at things I have to put together and I do not feel that need or urge anymore. I know I have to get it done and I start to pack things one after other. I repeat the process until it is done. I use more willpower and calm thinking. It seems to me that I do it slower than before, but I put more thinking into the process.

So there is difference in thinking pattern and motivation. People who can motivate themselves will do better as eunuchs than lets say artists who act more on emotions.

Haven't tried to masturbate yet.

Currently my system contains around 200mg of accumulated androcur. Down from peak 300mg.

[Paolo]

One listed side effect is a feeling of breathlessness. Any of that?

[erikboy (imported)]

One listed side effect is a feeling of breathlessness. Any of that?

No, no breathlessness this far.

Tiredness is not felt all the time. At times I forget what is going on inside me.

It seems I have reached new levels of eunuchdom. Today I had to force myself to masturbate. Otherwise I had not done it. And I did it for "science" lol.