Hash (imported) wrote: Tue Jun 26, 2012 2:55 am
I believe that if you have this desire it will grow and in the end most men with this desire will seek to fulfill it, and have their penises cut off. It might take another 10 or 15 years, but it will happen. I know that one day I will have it removed, I just don't know when.
I'm not sure if I should be relieved or terrified by this notion. I've had thoughts of cutting off my penis since I was very young, before I even knew what a penis was for. I've also always enjoyed playing with it, yet I've thought about cutting it off. As a kid, I'd sometimes put my penis in scissors and squeeze just until I felt the pinch, and I'd also sneak into the kitchen when my parents were sleeping, get a knife, pull my penis from my pajamas, and think about cutting it off. Otherwise, I grew up a "normal" straight male. I love women, sex, and masturbation, but I've never shaken my penectomy fantasy. I enjoy self knife play from time to time. It's really intense sometimes. There have been a few occasions when I put my penis on a cutting board, took a knife or cleaver in my hand, and held it very near my penis. I've raised my hand, thinking how swiftly and simply I could bring down the blade, and the deed would be done in an instant. I find it so exciting that my heart races, I tremble, and a few times, I've had powefrul orgasms without even touching my penis - just the thought of chopping it off was all I needed. I've also had dreams that my penis was off, although I've never had dreams about the actual cutting, just my penis being detached. In the dreams, I have mixed feelings of excitement, yet wondering if I can get it put back on. I always wake up with a throbbing erection after such a dream. I also enjoy tucking my penis in and sealing it in with invisible tape. I enjoy the look of the dickless me. I've always been too afraid to share these fantasies with a woman, but I'd very much like to find one who'd enjoy some fantasy kinfe play. I don't think I'd really want her to cut it off - or would I?