So I've been off the T close to a year (OK, 8 months). I never want to go back. When I told my GP about that, his eyes bugged out and he ordered a bunch of blood tests to check to see to what degree it appears that my body is trying to metabolize my bones. I'm at the edge of the reference range on things like calcium levels. I'll ask for a bone scan, and I got him to refer me to an endocrinologist.
I'm extremely happy without testosterone; everyone tells me that my personality seems better and that I seem more comfortable in my skin. The thing is, I think that I might want to take something in order to stave off some of the less pleasant health effects. I think that a little bit of HRT would be better for my mental function as well as for things like bone health.
The thing is, nothing appeals to me. I don't want to feminize. I've had no feminization since stopping T, and I know that with enough E, I'll look like my mother or sister. That is, very busty. I like the idea of de-masculinizing some more but not outright feminizing.
T makes me crazy and aggressive, and I just don't feel 'right' on it. I do like the energy it gives me though I have trouble focusing all that much energy.
No T makes me calm and happy, and I feel right. But I don't have as much energy as before; it's like my brain has slowed down to normal human speeds.
I've gotten lots of conflicting advice. Some people suggest to use lots of E. My GP suggested T. Others suggest progesterone or mixes of E and progesterone. I'd like to de-masculinize some more (maybe getting laser beard removal) but not actually feminize. I want slightly sharper mental functioning and better bone health.
Proper endocrinological advice is hard to find since it gets mixed in with everyone's prejudices about what it means to be male or female, and the Germans are much more 'traditional' than the Anglo-Saxons in this regard. I need to be able to go to an endocrinologist and make my case for what I want.
Questions that I would like to know the answers to:
1. What are the effects of using low-dose estrogen and/or progesterone for people such as prostate cancer eunuchs or non-binary trans people?
I'm one of the latter, but in Germany, the gender binary is enforced by law. One can go from being a man to a woman or vice versa, but no provision is made for those who do not fit into that binary. Believe it or not, the US is much more liberal on gender matters.
That's why I am fortunate to have had my, um, injury a few years back. It gives me a lot more freedom. My luck would be best if I could argue from the experiences of prostate cancer patients since I'm not so sure that my endocrinologist would understand the idea that I'm sort of trans but not really MtF.2. In particular, can I get some of the good benefits of these things without growing big bazoombas?
I've had no real feminization since my surgeries and I'd like to keep it that way. Interestingly, every time I talk with Germans about the concept of non-binary genders and/or hormones, the subject of breasts comes up. WTF?!
3. If I stick with no T or no E, is there a 'third way' which reduces the risks to my health that I currently face?
I'd like to keep my perfect record of no broken bones, thank you.
4. The Holy Roman Empire, neither holy nor....
Thoughts, comments, advice?