Wrestling Match

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bigdude1 (imported)
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Wrestling Match

Post by bigdude1 (imported) »

Right now I've got a wrestling match going on in me. On one hand I really do like the positive sides of being chemically castrated (I've been at this level or close to it for about 3 - 4 years now). I'm a much nicer guy. No hair trigger anger. No going off on nasty rants. Much more loving & caring. Here's the really big two: My out of control sex drive that threatened to get me in serious legal/law trouble is mostly gone & I've got a much closer walk with God.

Now here's the part I'm wrestling with. I used to be very sexually active (we have six kids). I still sometimes get really strong sex urges. Sometimes I'll catch myself sneaking off by myself & watching porn which goes against me trying to have a closer walk with God & screws up my relationship with my wife. Quite often I'll catch myself fantasizing about wild sexual escapades with my wife which if enacted would be out of bounds too.

A little background on me and my wife. We're both almost 50. I've been diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder, depression (mild), & Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I'm on a couple of psyc meds (one is a SSRI, Google it) that are notorious for blocking testosterone production. When I had my T-levels checked 4 months ago I don't remember the exact readout of my test but I remember it was lower than most people here that are on chemical castration meds.

As far as my wife goes she too is on Bipolar & Anti-Depressant meds which absolutely kills her sex drive. As for her she really don't miss having sex now.

I'm tentatively scheduled to go in for Gastric Bypass (Bariatric) surgery around March 19th. My goal is to lose about 250 pounds in the first year (Yes! I am a BIG guy). One thing I learned in the classes you have to take before you can have Gastric Bypass surgery is that when you start rapidly losing weight your hormones go bonkers! This really has me concerned. If my body reacts like it's suppose to after the surgery my T-levels could start rising again. On one hand this could be good and on another hand this could be really bad. I'm betting on the bad side!

I do have a sympathetic endocrinologist and we've already discussed this a little bit. His word to me is that if my T-levels start coming back up like they're suppose to and if they do it at a slow pace I "might" be OK. It's the "might" part that scares me. He told me if my T-levels would become a problem that he would start me on Lupron which he said is some really good stuff.

One problem that I have with going that route is that for the first 30 days Lupron is infamous for raising your T-levels before it kills it off. That part really, really scares me! I had my blood work checked again yesterday and one of the things that I had checked was my T-levels to make sure their still down. What I'm seriously considering doing is as soon as my T-level test results come in making an appointment with my endocrinologist and ask for a little sympathy and see if he won't start me on Lupron before my surgery at least on perhaps a lower dosage so that after the surgery when my hormones go bonkers I'm ahead of the game.

I don't know. Like I said I've really been doing pretty good with my low T-levels but there's still something inside of me that keeps getting stirred up. That's what I'm wrestling with.

I'll be anxiously awaiting your comments, feedback, and words of wisdom!

Thanks!

🆘
littletits (imported)
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Re: Wrestling Match

Post by littletits (imported) »

Have you ever given any thought to being surgicaly castrated. This will keep your T levels permanently very low unless you add T after surgery.

You most likely at your age will become impotent if you are not there already. If your wife is no longer interested in sex it won't matter to her that you are a Eunuch. I am a Eunuch and have no erections,desires or fantasys of a sexual nature. I do no take any T. Discuss this with your doctor but before you embark on this road remember it is a one way street. There is no going back but your liver will be less stressed from having less med's to process.
bigdude1 (imported)
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Re: Wrestling Match

Post by bigdude1 (imported) »

The thought has crossed my mind on occasion. If I was decided to go that route some very decisive things would have to happen.

1: I would have to have the blessings of at least one or two of my docs such as my endocrinologist and my psychiatrist.

2: Somehow my insurance would have to buy off on it because there is no way I can pay cash.

3: I'd want my wife to be in full agreement. This one would probably be the easy one.

Thanks!
impotentus (imported)
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Re: Wrestling Match

Post by impotentus (imported) »

I want to add my two cents here. hormones start getting stronger and crazier even at the minimun lost of weight. If you have been chemically castrated for years as stated in your information, you should not even be getting a small rise up of hormones because the testes should have been shut. Lupron´s increased T effects are only minimal. although YMMV. plus, if you want to avoid anything, Depo provera will do for you to keep that damn testosterone out of your system.
bigdude1 (imported)
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Re: Wrestling Match

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I thought that an update would be in order here. I just received my bloodwork/ua tests today. Everything was looking pretty good & even some major improvements since my last tests 5 months ago. Along with those improvements, which are no doubt in part to my diet & losing 25 pounds, my T levels started back up again. Not good!

At last check my T levels were 82 ng/dl & 3.8 pg/ml which is pretty much where they've been hanging out for the past 4 - 5 years. Today's report has my T levels at 120 ng/dl & 6.5 pg/ml. A definite rise in such a short time.

I'm planning on going in for gastric bypass surgery around March 19th and the diet that I'm on now is allowing me to lose weight. I was told in the classes I had to take before I can have my surgery that when you start losing weight your hormones can go nuts & the more rapid you lose weight the nuttier they become. Apparently my body is proving my instructor right.

Some may think this is weird but I really enjoy statistics. Statistics can show you a myriad of things. The biggest thing that statistics show is how most any given thing is performing or has performed. I've been keeping statistics on my health at a very detailed level now for about 6 months. One of the statistics that I keep that comes in to play here is my mood levels. I log my mood level 3 times a day, morning, noon, & night on a scale of 1 - 10 with 10 being perfect. I noticed looking back for the past 2 months especially my moods have been going downhill gradually and my aggression has been slowly coming up. Think maybe my gradual increase in T could be affecting moods & aggression? I do.

I have
bigdude1 (imported) wrote: Sun Feb 05, 2012 3:51 am an appointment with my endocrinologist
in the morning. I had a chat with my wife tonight that we both want me on Lupron which the doctor tossed out as an option last time so that & my greatly improved diabetes will be our main discussion. I really, really want to get on Lupron for three reasons. First to keep me out of trouble which would include protecting my kid's, wife's, & my sanity! Second, I'd much rather go the route of doctor administering the med & knowing what to watch for. If the doctor does it my insurance pays for it. Yeah!

I'll try to jump on tomorrow night & let you all know what happened.

Thanks for all of the advice & help!
bigdude1 (imported)
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Re: Wrestling Match

Post by bigdude1 (imported) »

Quick update- I met with my endocrinologist today for my bi-monthly checkup. He was pleased to see that my bloodwork/UA tests results were showing some really good numbers. Then we got to the part about the rising testosterone and my problems. After a short discussion he agreed to put me on Lupron. My pharmacy didn't have it in stock and had to order it & I'll pick it up tomorrow & then we'll head back over to my endo's office where one of the nurses will walk my wife through the steps of giving me my shots which will be on a weekly basis.

On a side note... Wow! Lupron is EXPENSIVE! A single dose is over $900!!! Thank God for insurance! My out of pocket is only $90!
bigdude1 (imported)
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Re: Wrestling Match

Post by bigdude1 (imported) »

I got my Lupron shot today. For what that shot cost it should have come in a gold plated syringe. Instead it came preloaded with a HUGE needle! The needle was so big in fact that when the nurse opened the package she even said "Wow! That's a BIG needle!" Fortunately I got it in the leg muscle instead of the butt so at least i can sit & type this! 😄

I'll post occasionally on how things are going. Thanks for the feedback I've got so far!
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