15 Years of Considering a Drastic Option

[wankbear (imported)]

In 1996 I was diagnosed with full-blown AIDS. I'm one of the lucky ones that was able to survive long enough to get on a successful regimen of meds that now has my viral load undetectable and I have the appearance of perfect health.

Unfortunately, I know that I had infected at least three men that resulted in their deaths. What's worse is I have no idea of how many men I infected through anonymous sex at truck-stops and adult book stores. Even being very careful, after my diagnosis, I've had good quality condoms break, and there's always the problem of a manufacturing defect in a condom that would allow it to leak.

The only safe solution is to not have sex at all, but I have a strong sex-drive and it's hard to fight human nature. I masturbate at least two or three times a day, but that is satisfying in only a very limited way. I hunger for human sexual contact.

I've been considering castration or a penectomy for 15 years. With castration, I hope that it would drastically lower my sex-drive and sex wouldn't matter anymore. A penectomy would allow me to still ejaculate but I wouldn't be able to penetrate anybody and it would be a fitting punishment for being sexually irresponsible. It's hard to choose which is better: balless, dickless, or both?

I missed a window of opportunity when Dr Spector and Dr Kimmel were in business in Philadelphia. I lived in Harrisburg PA at that time and it would have been an easy trip. I know that if I choose penectomy, I'll probably have to find a Doctor outside the USA. But, I'm still hoping to find a licensed surgeon willing to do an elective castration.

[Caith721 (imported)]

Dr. Mark Arnkoff in Detroit (http://myorchie.com/) and Dr. Fara in Atlanta (http://grsatlanta.com/html/procedures.html) are your two best options in the US for elective castration/orchiectomy.

[JesusA (imported)]

You sound like you are a candidate for a round of chemical castration. Don't do anything irreversible until you've had a test run.

[justjustin (imported)]

A penis and no balls would be torture, I think. I'd go for the no balls solution. I expect you can still infect people, so would be a good thing to do for everybody, and maybe make you feel better about the passed.

[Lasander (imported)]

A penis and no balls would be torture, I think.

I think the other way around would be torture as you would still have the drive but have a much harder time to get to orgasm.

Anyways,wankbear, you should try the chemical option first to see if you can put up with the effects of castration.

[weestub (imported)]

Hi Wankbear,

It might be time to get in touch with your AIDS help line or counselor again to discuss this matter. Chemical castration would lower your sex drive and therefore make life easier for you--and unlike surgical castration or penectomy could be reversed if you find it was a mistaken choice. But being HIV+ does not mean one's sex life must or even that it should end. There are plenty of ways to have enjoyable sex without penetration if breaking condoms are a concern, all any of us needs to do is experiment until we find one or more activities we and our partners like.

You write, "

A penectomy would allow me to still ejaculate but I wouldn't be able to penetrate anybody and it would be a fitting punishment for being sexually irresponsible.

" From what you write, it seems you're quite responsible now and willing to make any sacrifice to insure the health of your partners. There is certainly nothing wrong with wanting a penectomy for the right reasons, but having one to punish yourself is not one of them. What happened in the past--to *you* and to some of your partners--is certainly unfortunate, but carelessness mutually agreed on is not something that deserves to be punished.

[raymar2020 (imported)]

Wankbear,

Firstly, knowing your status , anyone with whom you have sexual contact should be warned of the fact that you are HIV positive. Once warned then they have the option to choose to NOT participate in risky activities. Secondly, if you infected several people prior to knowing your own status, then that is certainly not something to feel blame for.

I would also say that at your age, you should certainly be able to control your sexual urges. Engaging in only safe sex practices or choosing to only be inimate with others who are Poz are simple choices easily accomplished.

Castration would likely cause a reduction in your libido, but there are all sorts of potential complications like depression, weight gain, and osteoporosis. If you were to use testosterone to overcome those side effects, then you'd be right back in the libido situation.

At the risk of sounding harsh, as an HIV positive person, you must take responsibility for your self. Having unprotected sex with anyone is a real no no , and frankly having penetrative sex period is probably not a good idea. Rather than cutting your balls off, take control of them, not allow them to control you. I know several positive guys who have more than adequate sex lives, but they are not hanging out in truck stops or adult book stores.

Being HIV positive these days is certainly not the death sentence that it was just a few years ago, but you need to be responsible about your sexual activity, and be totally open about your status. Self control , and honesty are what you must exercise , and castration is NOT the answer.

Raymar

[wannabe (imported)]

i question the authenticity of this thread, who the hell says i want my chopper chopped off because i have aids..... i think the aids is a tool being used to get us to talk about he he can whack his wang.......... however, if you really do have aids, the lopping the log isnt the answer, neither necessarily is jousting your jewels.... before you fuck up your body, which pharmaceutical companies seem to enjoy making people do, search the internet for various other means of helping and even curing your aids, curing aids? i hear you say, youre a moron! i hear you say, not really, people have been known to try and to have done it, but just like cancer, aids is big money, so mainstream decent treatment youll never find, only treatments that are repetitive until you die, to give you an okish quality of life but make you still have to pay loads of money to the pharmaceutical companies are seen as desirable treatments...... sounds morbid i know, but its life, you have to look at alternative information other than mainstream to get anywhere these days.

but if this is an excuse for you to jack off at people telling you how you can lose the lollipop, then fuck it, just pop some viagra, band it tight and leave it for 24 hours, then youll get your penectomy for free depending on your country, problem solved.