Actually NT, esp. NT2000, is infinitely more stable than 98, se, or ME ever were. My computer's been running for a good 2 months and hasn't crashed anything with it.
:p
Andrew's jokes thread
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colin (imported)
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Re: Andrew's jokes thread
Paolo,
2 whole months without a crash? Keep this up and you will become eligible for a safe driver's award.
LOL
2 whole months without a crash? Keep this up and you will become eligible for a safe driver's award.
LOL
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radar (imported)
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Re: Andrew's jokes thread
Paolo wrote: Mon Aug 12, 2002 9:39 am Actually NT, esp. NT2000, is infinitely more stable than 98, se, or ME ever were. My computer's been running for a good 2 months and hasn't crashed anything with it.
:p
Right you are, Paolo. Of course, NT/2000 is so stable precisely because Microsoft didn't write them! NT was originally a Digital product, and remained so through Win2K. I'm avoiding XP because that's one where MS took the lead again.
I've had NT operating continuously, without a crash or even a hiccup, for as long as 6 months at a time.
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Andrew (imported)
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Re: Andrew's jokes thread
Great news! Some of the old favorite singers and bands have
re-released their great hits with new lyrics to accommodate their ageing audience. Some examples:
Herman's Hermits--"Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Walker"
The Rolling Stones--"You Can't Always Pee When You Want"
Credence Clearwater Revival--"Bad Prune Rising"
Marvin Gaye-- "I Heard It Through the Grape Nuts"
The Who--"Talkin' 'Bout My Medication"
The Troggs--"Bald Thing"
Carly Simon--"You're So Varicose Vein"
The Bee Gees--"How Can You Mend a Broken Hip"
Roberta Flack--"The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face"
Johnny Nash--"I Can't See Clearly Now"
The Temptations--"Papa Got a Kidney Stone"
ABBA--"Denture Queen"
Leo Sayer--"You Make Me Feel Like Napping"
Commodores--"Once, Twice, Three Trips to the Bathroom"
Procol Harem--"A Whiter Shade of Hair"
The Beatles--"I Get By With a Little Help From Depends"
re-released their great hits with new lyrics to accommodate their ageing audience. Some examples:
Herman's Hermits--"Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Walker"
The Rolling Stones--"You Can't Always Pee When You Want"
Credence Clearwater Revival--"Bad Prune Rising"
Marvin Gaye-- "I Heard It Through the Grape Nuts"
The Who--"Talkin' 'Bout My Medication"
The Troggs--"Bald Thing"
Carly Simon--"You're So Varicose Vein"
The Bee Gees--"How Can You Mend a Broken Hip"
Roberta Flack--"The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face"
Johnny Nash--"I Can't See Clearly Now"
The Temptations--"Papa Got a Kidney Stone"
ABBA--"Denture Queen"
Leo Sayer--"You Make Me Feel Like Napping"
Commodores--"Once, Twice, Three Trips to the Bathroom"
Procol Harem--"A Whiter Shade of Hair"
The Beatles--"I Get By With a Little Help From Depends"
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Andrew (imported)
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Re: Andrew's jokes thread
A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news.
"So, did you jump?" the father asked.
"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!"
"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.
"Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door."
"Did you jump then?" asked the father.
"I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told be to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt."
"So, did you jump?"
"Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, `Boy, are you gonna jump or not?' I said, `No, sir. I'm too scared.' So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long and as big around as a baseball bat! He said, `Boy, either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking this little baby up your ass.'"
"So, did you jump?" asked the father.
"Well, a little, at first."
"So, did you jump?" the father asked.
"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!"
"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.
"Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door."
"Did you jump then?" asked the father.
"I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told be to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt."
"So, did you jump?"
"Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, `Boy, are you gonna jump or not?' I said, `No, sir. I'm too scared.' So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long and as big around as a baseball bat! He said, `Boy, either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking this little baby up your ass.'"
"So, did you jump?" asked the father.
"Well, a little, at first."
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Andrew (imported)
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Re: Andrew's jokes thread
Q.
Francisco and a police officer in Los Angeles?
A. A police officer in San Francisco will dance and have a few
drinks when he says he's going out "clubbing."
a police officer in San
Francisco and a police officer in Los Angeles?
A. A police officer in San Francisco will dance and have a few
drinks when he says he's going out "clubbing."
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luvpain (imported)
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Re: Andrew's jokes thread
radar (imported) wrote: Mon Aug 12, 2002 1:39 pm Right you are, Paolo. Of course, NT/2000 is so stable precisely because Microsoft didn't write them! NT was originally a Digital product, and remained so through Win2K. I'm avoiding XP because that's one where MS took the lead again.
I've had NT operating continuously, without a crash or even a hiccup, for as long as 6 months at a time.
Well I have been running Windows XP Pro since the end of June on my new system with very little problems.
Actually it seems more stable than my old Windows 2000 machine.
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Andrew (imported)
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Re: Andrew's jokes thread
This is supposed to be my jokes thread. Can we please move the SERIOUS discussion about Windows to The Celler? Thank you.
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Mac (imported)
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luvpain (imported)
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Re: Andrew's jokes thread
Andrew (imported) wrote: Tue Aug 13, 2002 6:06 am This is supposed to be my jokes thread. Can we please move the SERIOUS discussion about Windows to The Celler? Thank you.
Sorry Andrew. I guess stuff like this Happens to bad jokes
Just kidding 
Anyways I created a new thread in the "The Deep, Dark Cel
hread (http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/showthr ... eadid=1423)" Where people can continue this discussion.