a question for guys: how does castration effect your relationships with women?

[iamdaniel (imported)]

Once your sex drive vanishes, do any of you guys find that aggravating sexual hangups and insecurities which tend to accompany sexuality, also tend to vanish? do you find that you're able to have platonic relationships with women that don't become complicated(read: ruined) by sexuality?

[Cainanite (imported)]

Just because you don't have a lot of testosterone in your system does not mean you become sexless. I'm relatively asexual, but I can still have things arouse me. It is mostly an arousal of the mind, and not what is between my legs, but it can still happen.

[Riverwind (imported)]

Yes it can, the brain is a powerful sex organ, even if the delivery system is dead.

River

[Caith721 (imported)]

In my individual case, it's made my life better. Since my wife went through menopause, she's not the least bit interested in either intimacy or sex. Before anti-androgens and ethanol injections and eventually orchiectomy, I was too damned horny every day, afternoon, and evening. It was frustrating. Even masturbation became frustrating. She never expressed any interest, but became ridiculously upset if she knew I was masturbating. It was a no-win situation. Now I don't feel the need, although I still crave intimacy and she doesn't. It's MUCH less frustrating than the horniness.

FYI, I turn 53 next week. I've already had many years to enjoy sex, and I did enjoy it.

[iamdaniel (imported)]

Yes it can, the brain is a powerful sex organ, even if the delivery system is dead.

River

Very true, but in the case of castration, the elimination of the delivery system profoundly affects the brain, since it is testosterone (among other things) which influences the brain's arousal.

[iamdaniel (imported)]

In my individual case, it's made my life better. Since my wife went through menopause, she's not the least bit interested in either intimacy or sex. Before anti-androgens and ethanol injections and eventually orchiectomy, I was too damned horny every day, afternoon, and evening. It was frustrating. Even masturbation became frustrating. She never expressed any interest, but became ridiculously upset if she knew I was masturbating. It was a no-win situation. Now I don't feel the need, although I still crave intimacy and she doesn't. It's MUCH less frustrating than the horniness.

FYI, I turn 53 next week. I've already had many years to enjoy sex, and I did enjoy it.

she refused sex or intimacy yet became angry if you were masturbating!? what reason did she give for that?

[Losethem (imported)]

Even masturbation became frustrating. She never expressed any interest, but became ridiculously upset if she knew I was masturbating. It was a no-win situation. Now I don't feel the need, although I still crave intimacy and she doesn't. It's MUCH less frustrating than the horniness.

She wouldn't put out for you and then she got upset if you masturbated?

Gosh, she metaphorically cut your nuts off years before you actually did it.

Frankly, I wouldn't have put up with that.

--LT

[canadacowboy (imported)]

I don't have a problem the wife is not interested in Sex anymore so it works out well with me.

[SplitDik (imported)]

she refused sex or intimacy yet became angry if you were masturbating!? what reason did she give for that?

A big part of me overcoming my castration desire (which was based on being frustrated due to being oversexed) was learning to embrace masturbation as a positive tool and experience. For me most of my life, masturbation was a cop-out and sign of failure -- it signified to me that I had failed to get a woman to satisfy me or I didn't have the willpower to resist masturbation. I didn't really have a hang-up about it in terms of being embarrassed or religious issues, rather it was like being on a diet and giving in and eating junk food -- it was that kind of failure feeling.

My psychiatrist mainly focused on me changing my attitude about masturbation. It became a release valve. Also, I had to gain confidence that it was my right to do it (who cares if your wife or someone thinks you shouldn't). In fact for a while, my psychiatrist had me on a regimen where I was supposed to masturbate every day and was to make it enjoyable -- take the time to find some good porn, buy vibrators, whatever works for you. Most important was reevaluating my feelings after a masturbation session. Previously I always considered myself "drained" after masturbation which didn't feel good (sort of a post-coital depression, which is a real psychological effect); after doing some retraining I started to think of it as "relaxing", "stress release" and a positive control over my sexuality (i.e. I was consciously choosing an outlet for my sexual frustration).

Anyway, for those who are struggling with frustration due to oversexuality, it is really important to embrace masturbation, take it as a right, eliminate all hang-ups about it, and actually use it as a positive force. Also, if you're like me you'll find that your desire for castration greatly diminishes immediately after orgasm -- this is a strong sign that you don't really need permanent castration, you just need to masturbate regularly.

In fact, masturbation does actually cause "castration" because orgasm release prolactin which inhibits the dopamine that causes you to crave sex. If you masturbate whenever you are sexually frustrated, you'll start to find that less and less of your life is colored by sexual frustration. Eventually that will tip the scales, and you can beat the damaging cycle.

[janekane (imported)]

I can only describe my own experience, which may not generalize so as to be all that useful to many others. I have a genetic condition, familial adenomatous polyposis combined with a family history of apparent severe prostate cancer risk. That combination may happen in something like 1 out of 30,000 "men." I wrote, "men" because I have always had a sense of being transgendered, though not quite enough to have sought SRS.

I am married, have been married once, and plan to keep it that way "as long as we both shall live." My relationship with my wife can be put simply. We love each other, and I am not dead from cancer. Cancer preventive surgeries and complications from those surgeries kept me in hospital for months at a time. During those times, I had no need for orgasms, no "wet dreams," and was not bothered by any form of "sex drive."

Please note that the bilateral orchiectomy was the first of the cancer risk minimization surgeries and was done as an outpatient procedure. All the hospitalizations were at least two months post-orchiectomy, by which time the automatic sex drive mechanism had gone nicely to sleep. The conscious, willful mechanism did not, as best I can tell, change in any way I have yet noticed.

When home, I am much as I was before the orchiectomy, no ED, no reduction in orgasm experience, and the only difference I find at all worth noting is, by any sense of rightful jurisprudence, I ought to be acquitted of any fake paternity charge for a baby born since 1987.

Because I had no inclination to "fool around" outside marriage at any time in my life, that factor ("fooling around" may be unduly pejorative, if so, please forgive me) never changed for me. Therefore, for all practical purposes, my relationships with women did not change.