hello

[lil hawk (imported)]

Hi all im new here and dont type or spell real good

i was castrated 20 years ago against my will wile being tourtured and starved to death . i have been a long time trying to learn to live a normal life and am still working on it . it has helped reading some of your posts i may be able to fit in here i dont fit anywhere else , so tired of being alone disposible and lonely

[tugon (imported)]

Welcome to the EA and you do belong here. Please do not worry about your spelling or typing. We are more interested in getting to know new members than correcting them.

I am saddened by what you have experienced and yes it takes time to heal. You can safely share anything here as I have. I have joined other sites for help with issues but I always receive more support here. It is a good group of caring people. Do not judge us by our posts in the political section.

Again welcome and I will be intereted to read more posts from you when you are ready.

[lil hawk (imported)]

Thank you for the warm welcome !! this is the first site i found and joined and found it looking for meds (t replacement) only costs me 12 dollars a day to be a boy now !!!

[punkypink (imported)]

im real sorry and saddened to hear what happened to you. That is terrible and not something that should happen to an innocent victim.

Please, I hope you feel very welcome here and you will have somewhere you feel like you belong. I know how that feels. I don't belong anywhere either. My own communities shun me. Lesbians don't agree that I am lesbian, trans people don't agree that I am trans. But for a few people here who were part of the last strands of moral support for me, I would be utterly invalidated and would probably found the strength to finally end it.

[tugon (imported)]

But for a few people here who were part of the last strands of moral support for me, I would be utterly invalidated and would probably found the strength to finally end it.

Lil hawk and Punkypink one thing you need to know is even though some of us do not respond may be due to nothing useful to add or we just cannot relate but that does not mean we are not cheering you on from the sidelines.

[punkypink (imported)]

Lil hawk and Punkypink one thing you need to know is even though some of us do not respond may be due to nothing useful to add or we just cannot relate but that does not mean we are not cheering you on from the sidelines.

I understand that, but it does not make the discrimination from the lesbians and the ignorance from the trans community any easier to bear. And for every one person cheering me on here, there is another having the opposite effect on me.

[lil hawk (imported)]

i am so use to being shuned and treated as being invisable that it seems strange to be treated any different even the people i worked for wouldnt admit i was even a person when i was captured they disavowed any knolage of me , after i escaped and made my way back they wouldnt med a vac me at first they just finish him off and bury him no one thought i would live any ways . so many times i wished i had died even prayed to die yet here i am still trying to live

i was captured in kuaite and sent to abugray prison in bagdad after 4 months of being tourtured starved raped and castrated i was dumped in a mass grave outside the prison and lime was thron over me to keep the smell down of the bodys untill they cover them with dirt ( i was to weak to scream from the torture anymore so not as much fun i guess i had no finger nails toe nails or teath left no balls ether and wieghed about 65 or 70 lbs )

[punkypink (imported)]

Where are you now lil hawk?

[lil hawk (imported)]

i live in oregon now . heavy meal ? then or now then it was a watery tin of rice about the size of a can of cat food every other day if u got lucky there may be a few maggots in it

[punkypink (imported)]

i live in oregon now . heavy meal ? then or now then it was a watery tin of rice about the size of a can of cat food every other day if u got lucky there may be a few maggots in it

Well I am glad you made it out. Hopefully your ordeal is over and you can begin the upwards climb.

I still need to find the bottom first, and looking at society, I don't think I will ever find the bottom, much less ever be able to climb up.