What pushes the desire for castation/penectomy?

[clysmaniac (imported)]

I have been castrated and have no desire to have my penis removed. It has always been on the smaller end of the spectrum and fits nicely in my panties now. While I do sit at least half the time when I pee, it is really useful when standing is most practical. It still feels good when someone plays or sucks even if it doesn't get erect. I can still have a very occasional orgasm that sometimes is very intense. I was castrated to become more submissive sexually and lose my ability and need for aggressive, penetrative sex. Certainly, I could adapt if it were removed but that is not something I seek to have done.

[nullorchis (imported)]

For each there must be a different combination of causes why one craves to have body parts removed, particularly genitals. DNA, life's experiences, brain waves? Surely beyond my ability to explain why. I don't know what caused me to crave castration since puberty, so I surely could not know why someone else craves the same, or to have their penis removed, especially someone who is not doing it because of a transgender goal. I can add a little to this by saying when I took Siterone my craving to be castrated diminished. And since I destroyed testosterone production by using alcohol injections, and reduced TRT to 1/4 of a dose each day, my craving to be castrated is very low. When I was using full dose of TRT I again craved castration. I don't know exactly what my T level is now. Initially I felt I must keep some T in my body to avoid the negative side effects of having no T. But as I continually lowered the dose of T I have started to feel much more at ease, calm, relaxed, unagitated, no interest in sex, practically impossible to get erect, and less fixated on wanting castration. Never had an interest in having penis removed. I seem to have transitioned from desperately craving castration to, sure, if it were possible why not; with small hard balls that are insensitive to touch or pain, removing or keeping them is fine. With no interest in sex and no erections, in time I could develop the same ho hum feeling about the penis. It's just in the way, with no purpose. The sensitivity in the foreskin is annoying at times, though not sexually arousing. If I were offered the opportunity to have all removed for reasonable cost, it would be acceptable, but, given that any surgery comes with risks, I might just decide to live with the dangling participles and no big deal.