Should I consider Testosterone replacement?

[Cainanite (imported)]

I have recently been diagnosed with Primary Hypogonadism. I am 36 years old.

It basically means this; My testicles do not produce the volume of testosterone of the "average" male.

When I was twelve years old, I had a disease that effected my reproductive organs. I am still capable of erections, meaning I still usually wake up with one, but I have a reduced size of my genitalia. My sex drive is very low, tending toward A-sexuality. I also have more difficulty getting an erection and maintaining one.

There are other secondary characteristics that have been effected. I have inconsistent hair over my body, and less of it. I have a slightly higher voice, and body fat tends to gravitate toward my pelvis and thighs. I have suffered from mood swings and low self esteem since childhood.

In the last few years, my mood swings have become much less unpredictable, and I'm feeling much more like myself. More in control. My doctor tells me that as men age, our hormone levels go through less dramatic shifts, and this probably accounts for my better moods, because I am no longer going through the highs, and massive drop-offs that I did when I was younger. ( not to say my testosterone was ever high, but when I dipped, I was going through hormone withdrawal.) Now my hormone levels neither raise as high, nor drop as low.

As I went undiagnosed for 24 years, I have become pretty used to who I am. In fact it is just good to know I wasn't insane all those years. I am worried that if I go onto testosterone all the work I've accomplished constructing the person I am will be unraveled. That, and if I go on it now I will have to be on it for the rest of my life.

I know there would be some health benefits from starting hormone replacement, such as a drop in weight, increased sexual stamina, better bone density, Better concentration, etcetera.

Hormone replacement will never restore my fertility. That was gone when I was twelve. All it could do is change the person that I am now. Frankly that scares the *expletive* out of me. I've gone through a lot of work maintaining my sanity over the years and am finally happy with where my mental state has come to rest.

I think subconsciously I've known for years what was wrong with me. I've been reading and lurking this site for ages. Until now I've had nothing much to say or contribute. I've grown up thinking that castration would have been better than going through partial puberty like I did.

As many (or at least some) of you have gone through shifts between High testosterone levels, and none, and back, I'd really value your opinion.

[Batman (imported)]

I was diagnosed as hypo years ago. I went on TRT and also joined the Yahoo group hypogonadism2 which has a huge wealth of information.

I was close to osteoporosis in my spine, and the bones were weak enough to implode and caused permanent disability for me.

On T, my bones have progressed to normal strength (still the damage is done). Within the first 6 months, my mental acuity became much more sharp and focused. It didn't change who I was, but made me more self-assured in making decisions and just thinking things through in general.

Unless there is a reason you don't want T in your system, like a lot of folks here for a variety of reasons, I don't think fear should be the deciding factor.

If you become an asshole and stop liking yourself, you can wean off and go back to how you are. Although after a period of time your body's manufacture of T will shut down, and will take a few months at least to restart once you stop taking TRT. It is possible that it would not restart and then you would be without or could take a low dose vs a normal dose.

Best of Luck

Batman

[Cainanite (imported)]

Hey Batman,

I really didn't think I'd get a response this quickly. Thank-you. The advise on checking the Yahoo group is valuable to me. As I said, this is all very new to me. I've only known for a couple of weeks, but it has started to answer a lot of questions I've had about myself for a long time.

I haven't had the bone density problems yet, but I am now aware of what a risk I am at. That is probably the part that I am most concerned with. I'm sorry you didn't discover your condition sooner.

I'm aware I still need to have my hormone levels monitored. I'm told things look good because I am still capable of semi-regular erections. That means I'm not completely dead down there. Monitoring will determine how much T. I need to be on. It is nice to know that it is something that can be adjusted up or down. That sets my mind at ease a little.

As to the mood altering effects of T. That concerns me almost as much as future bone issues. I remember my teens to early twenties as being a vicious roller-coaster ride. I was more often than not, weepy and meek, but I could fly into a dramatic rage with almost no provocation. The rage part of my persona scared me much more than the weepy one.

I have no idea if the rage was caused by testosterone, or a drop-off. I'm guessing the entirety of the mood swings came from the overall lack of T, but if it was my reaction to higher testosterone, then becoming that monster full time does not appeal to me at all. I'd prefer to lose my erections completely, than become him.

I'm not going to make any decisions right away. I'm in no immediate risk, and can afford to bide my time for a little while, while I figure this out. That being said, having you respond means a lot to me.

Can you believe it? You are the very first person I have ever conversed with who might know what I'm going through. I haven't even spoken with my parents about this (there is a lot of shame around my life-long problems, I'm not eager to bring up with them.) My biggest obstacle I'm discovering, is I have no-one I trust to talk to about this. Your response is very encouraging.

Thanks again.

[Batman (imported)]

Not a problem. For myself, the going on T didn't create any mood swings, it just made me feel better overall, especially mentally. I also noticed over time my posture seemed to improve without my noticing it.

The Yahoo group was invaluable to me when I was getting started. I would recommend you get a bone density scan, just to be on the safe side. There aren't any symptoms of bone problems until there is a problem.

[Cainanite (imported)]

Thank you Batman. It is good to know that mood swings might not be as big of an issue as I was worried about.

I'm going to throw some questions at you if you don't mind. Feel free to ignore any you do not wish to discuss. I'm just itching with questions. My doctor wasn't really very loquacious on any of the finer points. I could probably bend somebody's ear for hours, given the opportunity.

Other than the bone density and better focus, did your body go through any changes I should be aware of? I'm thinking of hair growth, acne, penile changes, voice changes, whatever.

Was your Hypogonadism triggered in childhood or later in life?

Has your condition effected your relationships? Did you find it easier or harder to socialize once on T?

I'm guessing that at 36 years of age I won't see too many physical changes, but I'm having a hard time finding any testimonials from people who've lived through it.

I always attributed my problems to my own personal failings. Learning about my condition and reading about the symptoms of Hypogonadism has been like reading a check-list of everywhere I went wrong. Stuff I've been blaming myself for since puberty, suddenly has a reason. Knowing I wasn't 100% to blame is encouraging. What I should expect now that I know the truth is a whole other kettle of fish.

I haven't even begun to process my feelings about being sterile, or not knowing the truth for so long. All I can feel is relief about finally having an explanation.

Your helping me understand is really appreciated

[Batman (imported)]

First of all, and very importantly, EVERYONE is different. So how things affect me may not be the same for you. Although if you are low and feel crappy, then getting your levels normal ought to make you feel better.

As to body changes, like I said my posture definitely improved. I notice it especially when I'm walking and not slouching. If you have fat deposits where they don't belong (a more feminine pattern) over time it will lessen and the you will gain more lean muscle and the fat will go into the normal male pattern. Personally I'm quite a bit overweight so the effect has been less for me. You would most likely see an increase in energy if you are currently feeling lethargic and dragging yourself out of bed each day.

I believe I became low T because I hypothyroidism which seems to be a problem for a lot of the guys on the Yahoo groups. Speaking of which I'd combine your posts if you join there and post it to the group. They are far more knowledgeable than I am.

You shouldn't blame yourself for things beyond your control. If you are already sterile that is something you won't need to worry about as TRT can and does cause the testicles to shut down when the body determines it doesn't need to make it on its own. Once you start T, you will be on it for life generally speaking. Also if you go on TRT you need to keep an eye on Estrogen as it tends to go up as a side-effect. There are medications to help control that too.

[Cainanite (imported)]

Thanks.

I've logged into the Hypogonadism2 group you suggested, and posted pretty much what I have here.

I'm awaiting moderation on my first post now. I've poked around the group site, and as you said there is some valuable info there. Some of it is a little daunting, but I'm getting through it little by little.

Again, I really appreciate the advise.

[Batman (imported)]

Phil Georgian (I think that's the last name something similar anyways) is the main TRT guru on there. He also almost always replies to posts, and will point you to good reading and offer advice. If you go on T, I prefer injections as do a lot of others it seems. OLD protocol was 200mg every other week, or ever 400mg once a month. That would be a rollercoaster you want to avoid. If you go with shots do 100mg once a week to start.

For myself I am on 40mg 2x a week as it feels the best for me, but it is an extra shot each week. I also have Arimidex for keeping estrogen controlled. It is a powerful medicine that stops the conversion of T to E. I take 1/4 of a 1mg pill 2x per week. So it isn't a large amount. Hardest part is cutting the pills into quarters.

[_g (imported)]

I have recently been diagnosed with Primary Hypogonadism. I am 36 years old.

It basically means this; My testicles do not produce the volume of testosterone of the "average" male.

When I was twelve years old, I had a disease that effected my reproductive organs. I am still capable of erections, meaning I still usually wake up with one, but I have a reduced size of my genitalia. My sex drive is very low, tending toward A-sexuality. I also have more difficulty getting an erection and maintaining one.

There are other secondary characteristics that have been effected.

clip.....

I know there would be some health benefits from starting hormone replacement, such as a drop in weight, increased sexual stamina, better bone density, Better concentration, etcetera.

Clip....

Hormone replacement will 1) Complete puberty 2) Give you a sex drive if there is not an hormone imbalance other than lack of testosterone.

You will have to decide what you want, as the HRT will give you the all the secondary male characteristics (completion of puberty)

_g

[mrt (imported)]

I think its a great idea to go on HRT. For me it gave me

Energy

Mood improvements (No more Male "PMS")

If burned off a mental fog

Gave me a normal sex drive

I'm sure there were other things as well. Some of its subtle and some of it takes time to kick in but I think its all very worthwhile. Good luck!