re-entered - castration interest and fantasy

[bennett11 (imported)]

I have been a member few years ago and re-entered today. I have long been interested in body mods as a means of personal expression - I am now an older guy. My first interest after high school was short hair. I kept it very short (cueball was my nickname in college). I shaved my head long before this became reasonably common - I now have no hair anywhere on my body. I then 35 years ago got a full bathing suit tattoo covering all in that area. A ozen years ago I start collecting genital pierces - at one time having 20. I gave myself a meatomy, then a full subincision and then split head fully into the shaft. All during this time I was investigating to some seriousness getting castrated. In the fall of 2007 I was diagnosed with prostrate cancer. As part of my treatment I started on Lupron therapy. This drug is a LH/RH agonist (mimics a natural peptide hormone that helps regulate gonadal sex hormone production. I took the long active form (injections) every 4 months for two years. This shuts down production of testosterone. This is suppose to be reversible but at my age very unlikely. The consequence of this is that I have been fully chemically castrated - fulfilling one of my earlier desires. My balls have shrunk to size of an almond and are soft. Cock shrunk to less than two inches. Impossible to get an erection and have an ejaculate. Got hot flashes regularly and now my breasts are growing - not unexpected. So I would like to continue actually.