Major life changes

[Mac (imported)]

Thanks Dragonfly. Telling the wife is the biggest obstacle right now. I don't expect that to go well....

How did it go with your wife?

[JessicaH (imported)]

I haven't told my wife yet. I figure best to put it off as long as possible and try to get several more sessions with therapist and maybe a GID letter from therapist recommending hrt and medical transition. That way it makes it harder for people to say "its just a phase" or " a midlife crisis" or "your just a pervert".

Its kinda funny that GID is not something that they even TRY to fix. I actually went to see an endo with my new bff and was SHOCKED at how easy it is to get hrt by just signing an informed consent form. It almost seems that once you get to a certain point, the professionals almost push you down the path.

My therapist told me that she knows all the right people so that when im ready to move forward she can help quite a bit. I will see her next week and will ask her for endo reference which she indicated she would give since I am alreadyself medicating. I did tell her by email about the "nut shots" (ethyl alcohol) after my first mtg so im curious what she will say about it at our next session... I have decided that im not witholding anything from her as that would just be silly since IM paying HER to help me.

[JessicaH (imported)]

I forgot to add something important! Today is day 17 since I quit smoking. It has had some sucky moments but cant risk smoking along with HRT and I dont want to be one of those women with a raspy "smokers rasp". So not sexy.... lol. Also, I just measured and it seems that I now officially have a B cup breasts that are also very tender with a much different density. Surprised wife hasnt commented on them or my very shrunken testes... oh well.

[Caith721 (imported)]

My wife agreed for me to start hormones over two years ago, then conveniently denied I was growing breasts until they became larger in two years than her natural breasts did in forty years. Not until her envy overtook her denial did she understand what had happened. I'm not saying that's what's happening at your place, but it's surprising how many things people in this world just don't notice. The other point is, since it's been gradual, she probably hasn't noticed such a large difference from week to week.

[JessicaH (imported)]

My wife agreed for me to start hormones over two years ago, then conveniently denied I was growing breasts until they became larger in two years than her natural breasts did in forty years. Not until her envy overtook her denial did she understand what had happened. I'm not saying that's what's happening at your place, but it's surprising how many things people in this world just don't notice. The other point is, since it's been gradual, she probably hasn't noticed such a large difference from week to week.

The first thing I noticed when we met was your breasts. You have had an amazing result. I'm kinda surprised you dont catch to much grief for having breasts that size while in "guy mode"...

I'm sure I will see you again in the near future as I plan on being just south of you on a pretty regular basis. I may very well live there within the next year,,,

[Caith721 (imported)]

You were seeing them compressed by a one-size too small (now) bralette. The reason I don't catch more looks at work is that I grew them gradually over two years. I initially blamed it on prostate medication (Avodart) which was technically true, when it started. If I don't wear the bralette, they jiggle just a bit too much and then they do draw attention.

[butterflyjack (imported)]

Yes Stacy...Good for you...Please keep us abreast (hehe) of the situation....

smooches dragonfly

[OneBallBoi (imported)]

My heart always goes out to anyone who can live what their heart is saying. It is a big step to suddenly make a change and dress as a female.

[mrt (imported)]

Humm... Have you asked your therapist about your being puzzled about there not being any attempt to cure GID? If your thinking along those lines maybe that is worth exploring? Asking about it won't hurt anything and at least exploring this may be a good step so you don't have future regrets?

Anyway I'm totally revved up that you found a therapist and that there is a good chemistry. Good luck with the conversation with your wife. I think that will also be a large load off your mind when you do it.

[Danya (imported)]

I haven't told my wife yet. I figure best to put it off as long as possible and try to get several more sessions with therapist and maybe a GID letter from therapist recommending hrt and medical transition. That way it makes it harder for people to say "its just a phase" or " a midlife crisis" or "your just a pervert".

Dear Stacy,

There will likely come a point when putting off telling your wife is no longer a viable option for either one of you. Whatever your marriage is like, letting her know everything about who you are gives her the information she needs to make decisions about her own life.

We have exchanged emails numerous times over the last few years and spoken once. I will speak with you again soon, too. I was thrilled to speak with you a few weeks back.

Not once have I thought you were "just a pervert", going through a phase or a midlife crisis sweetie.

I admit I don't follow this the way I used to. To my knowledge, if all of the 'rules' are being followed, and you were not already taking estrogen, your therapist would need to provide the GID diagnosis before you could start HRT. I suspect you will soon have your official diagnosis.

Its kinda funny that GID is not something that they even TRY to fix. I actually went to see an endo with my new bff and was SHOCKED at how easy it is to get hrt by just signing an informed consent form. It almost seems that once you get to a certain point, the professionals almost push you down the path.

Professionals have learned through long experience that GID is not 'fixable' in the sense of making it go away so that someone like you, or me, is quite happy to remain 'male.' That's part of what's behind efforts to end the use of the stigmatizing "Gender Identity Disorder." Any disorder one experiences is from a lack of acceptance by society, family and so on.

My therapist told me that she knows all the right people so that when im ready to move forward she can help quite a bit. I will see her next week and will ask her for endo reference which she indicated she would give since I am alreadyself medicating. I did tell her by email about the "nut shots" (ethyl alcohol) after my first mtg so im curious what she will say about it at our next session... I have decided that im not witholding anything from her as that would just be silly since IM paying HER to help me.

I know many people start out self-medicating. I did when I started an anti-androgen back in early 2007. I'm glad to hear, though, that you want to consult a doctor about your estrogen injections. You need to be certain you are not overdoing things to the point of jeopardizing your health. Breast development is a wonderful thing, but your health should come first.

I'm so glad to know you and hear you are finding your own path. You have a lot of support on this site. That counts for a lot. I will do whatever I can to help.

That's about all I can manage for tonight. Although I'm doing a whole lot better, I'm still recovering from my recent illness.

Hugs,

Danya