Couple of naive questions about MtF transsexuals

[Caith721 (imported)]

Punky, I'm very saddened to read your latest post.

It sounds as if the LGBT groups there are where many US groups were, years ago. They haven't yet learned to understand and appreciate the complete diversity of gender and sex. As such, they are woefully behind the times, and uninformed. These are the polite words, but they are not being polite people. They are truly being ignorant and directing their resentment towards you in an arrogant manner. That is unconscionable.

When you mention suicide, please don't consider that option, EVER. Suicidal thoughts should remain only as thoughts, and never become actions. Have you sought the counsel of a gender therapist, or has that been completely dropped from the NHS? That this situation has severely impacted your studies is tragic. It practically demands the help of an enlightened and empathetic therapist to help you.

I hope you seek and get this help you so desperately require. You are going through one of the toughest times I've ever heard described, and it's impossible for you to do it alone.

[Danya (imported)]

Hi PunkyPink,

It's disheartening for me to read how you are being treated at school simply for being yourself. I cannot imagine the stress you are under.

I'm relieved to read you do not have the strength to commit suicide. Suicidal thoughts can be difficult to deal with. I know, I've been there. Suicide is not a good choice because it is a permanent solution to a temporary, although very painful, problem.

Many people here are offering good advice and support. I agree with Caith721. Please find the assistance you need to find a way to get through this and move on with your life. You are worth the effort you put into this.

Please keep us updated on how you are doing.

[smoothyboi (imported)]

It's really sad to read about what's happening to you in your univ. I hope that things would turn better. maybe u can transfer to another university. I know its very hard for you especially if they've already done things that you can no longer ignore, and even the LGBT society is not helpful to u. I'm still amazed by your courage to stand up for what you think is right and for expressing yourself well. you are very pretty.. I know that it will be hard to do, but don't let them get you down. I wish i have your bravery.

[-Pebbles- (imported)]

It is very disheartening to believe in non-superficiality and be called a pervert for it you know? Getting called everything from a "crossdresser" to "wannabe" to "man in drag" etc by other trans women or lesbians is getting me down. I thought at first that being trans without the usual accompanying degree of body dysmorphia was a blessing, but now I see just how much of a curse it is. There is almost nil support for people like me, and to be honest, it doesn't help when straight men with a crossdressing fetish come and muddy the waters for true trans lesbians like me. If anything it's a bloody wonder I am still half sane as I am. I

have seen those attitudes occasionally banded around by other transwomen it's something I find disgusting and when I saw it I stopped seeking out members of "my own kind" because simply I don't agree with it, You'd have thought that people who are misunderstood would have sympathy for others who are even more misunderstood but more often than not they don't.

It's just ugh screw it. Misunderstanding is no grounds for persecuting others ¬.¬

I'm so sad to heard what you've been experiencing at your university if you feel you can't continue your degree you need to tell the administration on why you can't continue at least have your reasons formally written down it's illegal here in the UK to discriminate on gender identity and if you've been harassed then there is potential for you to take them to court. and the university for failing to handle the matter of harassment and bullying properly.

@Caith

My experience is that the NHS often don't offer anything my first GP told me that he had no interest in helping me. The second one I told spends as much time trying to get me to stop my transition for further diagnosis (Which I've nearly completed by this stage duuhh like hell will I listen) as he dose actually referring me to any useful resources which all take MONTHS to get through. I spoke to GP's throughout my transition not ONCE have I seen a endocrinologist.

[punkypink (imported)]

It takes me days now to gather up a burst of energy to just talk about this issue. Talking about it leaves me feeling drained, exhausted and dejected. Counsellors and therapists are not going to be of any help anymore, not at this stage.

The problems in school are the straw that broke the camel's back, but I've been facing ignorance and discrimination for years, even here on the EA. While I have the energy to do so, let me show a few examples.

By the infamous Yoli:

http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/showthr ... post135110

Punkito, (Punkita?)

I use the term "Ladyboy" because Treasure T. Ladyboy uses that term HERSELF.

If there is another term you prefer I employ please reveal same and I will use it IF Treasure prefers. I will also ask her if she, at any time, has felt denigrated or degraded by any speech or action on my part. I may be "incorrigible" in your view, but I think Treasure would attest that NO other person has treated "her" with more respect and kindness than have I.

The fact that I am bearing the expense of her upcoming medical appointments and that it is I who instigated same might prove my point.

Yoli

Just because she knows some trans women who're ignorant about not using a degratory term on themselves, she thinks it must be fine to use it even after it is pointed out to her why it is bad and reinforces a negative stereotype based on ignorance.

Or this by CharlieIn413:

Punkypink,

There is room in my world for all sorts of people---str8s, gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, trans males and females (pre-op or not), cross-dressers and even drag queens are all acceptable to me. It's those differences that makes life that much more interesting and exciting.

What I have a problem with is all of this BS about Political Correctness. I hear it all of the time on the TV news.

"Does a rose by any other name not smell so sweet?"

Chill out some and sit back and try to enjoy your life without all of that.

You'll be a happier person.

Nuff said.

Charlie

In other of your posts---as well at this one--- you continue to be upset with terminology. Fine! Have it your way.

Don't bother to reply.

His idea of being "happy" is to devolve back into the same state of ignorance that surrounds him, despite the fact that he was called out for discrimination against trans women. It may be positive discrimination, but it's still discrimination nontheless.

Becky666's self centered and snobbish view that because SHE had body dysmorphia, anyone who doesn't, is not trans, and thus not the rightful gender they are:

http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/showthr ... 286&page=3

I know there are many people who want surgery and cant get it and I have all the empathy and respect in the world for them. I hope one day that they can get the surgery necessary to be a woman.

As for the transgendered people who are non op or any other of the myriad of self-affixed labels that have emerged in the last decade or so, stop calling yourself transsexuals. If you have a penis and you want to keep it, you are not a woman.

SRS is very safe, post op orgasmic capability is more around the 70-80% range with the other 20 to 30% mostly women who had problems before surgery or arent interested in orgasm.

There are a few people in this thread really messing with some numbers and spreading typical "tranny" misinformation and you should stop it.

Becky

post op for 6 years, orgasmic, married to a man, heterosexual, stealth and happier than ever

And from the same thread, in an orgy of ignorance based "yes we are trans because we have body dysmorphia!!!" self-affirmation, by our very own EricaAnn:

Hi Becky666,

I couldn't agree with you more. Having had my own SRS procedure 7 months ago, I feel very much the same way as you.

While being a part of a very small minority, I'm the last person who will put anybody down or criticize them for their beliefs or feelings, but to me, anyone who wants to look the part of the opposite gender from what they were born physically and yet has the desire to retain their "birth parts" is NOT a transsexual, but rather a transgendered individual whether it be MTF or FTM. Try a few sessions with a gender therapist and I think you'll quickly find out the difference between a transsexual and a transgendered person.

There is also another person, whose own fetish for futanari has coloured his recognition of who is and isn't a woman, but I've run out of energy to dig up his offensive post on the matter. Just remembering all these horrid people and their horrid posts... dejection and disappointment at the human race doesn't even begin to express what I feel.

Yea, people who're selfish like that and are happy to beat others down for their own self-validation, well done to you all. Congrats, I am this miserable now, you can mock and gloat because you and ignorance have won the day. Have a cookie and a pat on the back for an evil job done well.

[Dave (imported)]

I for one person accept you for whatever you wish to be. I think that we are on opposite sides of the world but if we met, you would be no more or less odd or unusual to me than any of the strange and unusual people I know. I take people as they present themselves, no more, no less.

Now I have a higher level of tolerance than you. I take words that people use as simply words. If they are ignorant words, I have learned to put the immediate anger aside and to on with my business.

I took a good look at some of my family and friends and coworkers and I didn't like their constant anger directed at everyone. I was faling into that behavior. I was 100% of the time acting out of anger. My body physically objected to the anger. I have a bunch of allergies to food and if I dare eat the wrong thing, it comes whizzing out of me in the most disgusting manner, sorry to say. but that's when I said, I cannot take offense at everyone and everything in the world and I sought out ways to calm down and control that anger. It was destroying me.

It meant giving up being angry at my relatives for not living up to my expectations. It meant giving up being judgmental over "those" people - you know, the trailer trash, the social drunks, the rude assholes driving cars around me... Get the idea? I still think that some behavior is rude, crude and nasty but that's it. I look at it and pass it all by. I try to be my own little island of calm and sanity.

Punky, you are what you are. I see an exotic Eastern person with lovely hair and fascinating eyes. I hope that your picture is you.

Me? I'm a gray haired white guy. I'm nothing special. But I know I have a nice smile and pretty hazel eyes and I'm easy going. I'm happy with that.

Don't let the rest of the world bring you down. You're a nice person.

[punkypink (imported)]

It meant giving up being angry at my relatives for not living up to my expectations. It meant giving up being judgmental over "those" people - you know, the trailer trash, the social drunks, the rude assholes driving cars around me... Get the idea? I still think that some behavior is rude, crude and nasty but that's it. I look at it and pass it all by. I try to be my own little island of calm and sanity.

That might work if I'm emotionless and desireless.

I'm not, but I can't be even though I am, because it just works against me because of the stupid, pointless, bigoted discrimination by fellow lesbians who happen to be cisgendered. "Preference, preference" they so sickeningly cry out. And there's going be some even here who'll support and agree with their horrifying bandying about of "preference" as a justifable excuse for making someone miserable. It is no longer preference when it is clear discrimination against someone on a physical factor. And to make it PERFECTLY clear it is NOT preference, look at their reactions when the rare lesbian comes along who is genuinely enlightened and unsuperficial... look at how they trample all over the enlightened one, and then how they hound her out of the community because "oh she loves cock she's not a lesbian".

What's a lesbian? A girl who loves girls. Most of these lesbians would rather date a FtM... i.e. a MAN with a vagina, over a MtF. In other words, these lesbians aren't even lesbians at all. More like cunt fetishists if you ask me what I think about the "I'll date it as long as it doesn't have a cock/has a pussy" brigade. What a mockery of the term "lesbian" they make.

[Dave (imported)]

I hear the fires of youth.

And that's OK.

[punkypink (imported)]

When the discrimination has successfully combined with emotional and sexual frustration to break my mind, I'll happily settle down into a regretful state of jaded calm I'm sure. It's not a matter of me judging others. It's a matter of other people's bigotry unfairly causing me to have a unjustly reduced chance at something that other's enjoy as a matter of human rights and that is affecting MY happiness. It's already happening as I see my youth squandered by others who're too selfish and ignorant. Now I know why 50% of trans people attempt suicide by age 30.

[butterflyjack (imported)]

Nicely said, Dave...Acceptance...tough one sometimes dragonfly