wife's issues

[Wellesley (imported)]

I thought I would start a new thread for this.

Wife issues....

By reading my previous threads you can figure out my story but to recap:

intermittent bilateral testicular pain since 18

3 surgeries at age 19 and 20 to try to correct issues

many years taking anti-inflamitories

3 years ago after about a month of terrible pain levels (IV drugs did not control pain level) had right scrotal orchiectomy (Son was 18months old)

this year wife had total hysterectomy and intercourse is no longer an option (physically impossible)

having higher than normal pain with remaining testicle for the last 18 months, taking oral pain meds

wife wanted me to try anti-depressants which I did but they caused massive nausea and sleep issues. Did not resolve pain.

We live in rural Japan. Doctors only have two options in dealing with testicular pain, orchiectomy or pain pills. The various alternatives available in the US are not done here, don't ask me why. Also psych is not all that big as the is still a massive social stigma associated with going to a shrink etc.

Recently went to the local uro for an exam, nothing was found (as per usual)

I really need help with explaining to the wife that I can still be fine after surgery. I can get implants etc. I think she worries a lot about energy level etc after surgery and how I could change emotionally.

Any thoughts?

[feedback (imported)]

Wish I could help but I have tried to explain that nothing would change between us and the only change would be that I would feel better about things but my wife seems to be worried about how I would feel in the locker room or in other words how things look instead of the reality of how things are. Maybe they want there man to be a man but it's not what I am. That's not entirely fair because she is very supportive of me but seems to worry about how others might see me. I have tried to explain that no one else needs to know but she is reluctant to discuss it. I guess we just need to educate our wives about the male anatomy and the fact that we don't need our testicles to be men. All we need is some hormone replacement to act like the jerks we always were.

[clysmaniac (imported)]

So who has the balls in your family? It sounds more like your wife if she is sentencing you to keep your testicle and put up with the pain from it. Her "concerns" seem mostly irrational. If appearance is an issue, you can get implants. I'm surmising that this is not the case with you because you seem to be coping well with only one right now. I know several eunuchs who function quite well with no replacement testosterone. None are fat or lethargic. I take some T but only a low amount - about 1/4 of what my doctor would like- but it is enough to keep up my strength and help absorb calcium better. I have actually lost some weight since my surgery but am much more careful about what I eat. I don't feel my energy level has dropped significantly. You can play with your testosterone level to get it to the desired level so that isn't an issue in my mind when contrasted with long-term pain. Just 2 cents worth from a married eunuch.

[raymar2020 (imported)]

Wellesley,

I would say that based on your situation, that ore discussion is required with your wife. I kind of fail to understand why intercourse is not possible, as to my knowldge a hysterectomy only removes the baby naking parts.

If you are still in constant pain, and either don't want full time pain meds , or they are not working, then it seems to me that your best option is removing the remaining one. Based on your other posts, I assume that having only one has not been an issue, and having none is not that much different.

Have a serious sit diwn with your wife, and make her understand the discomfort you are in, and I am sure she will come around to agreeing that you should go ahead with the procedure.

As to implants, since you have done OK so far with just one, I'd suggest that you postpone installing a new pair until you've had time to decide if its really necessary. Placing a foreign object in your body is something to give serious thought to.

Good luck, and I hope you find a resolution.

Raymar

Another happy eunuch on T

[Wellesley (imported)]

Thanks for the replies,

Wife had everything (cervix as well) removed, scaring etc etc so the vagina is extremely shortened

I will try to catch her on a "good" day and discuss it again. I don'T want to get a new full time job with this issue hanging over me.

[chemcast scot (imported)]

If the pain is as bad as that and pin relief tablets are not helping in anyway then i would say that no matter what others want you to do it might be better to goand see your doctor and get the esticle removed

[Wellesley (imported)]

If the pain is as bad as that and pin relief tablets are not helping in anyway then i would say that no matter what others want you to do it might be better to goand see your doctor and get the esticle removed

Yeap, I am to that point now. Yesterday was a hellish day looking after our son all day. Couldn't walk or sit had to lay down.

She is home early today so I will talk then.

[chemcast scot (imported)]

I might be talking out of turn here,but if your wife was concernd for you and your health,would she realy want you to keep a testicle that is causing you so mutch pain.

Would you have wanted your wife to keep any sort of her body that was causing so mutch pain to her,i know for me i wuld rather have he person and a few bits less,than to have a loved one who is living in so mutch pain.

I know for you to have your testicle removed could be a big be a big thing,but better to left with no testicles than to have sutch pain.

[Wellesley (imported)]

I might be talking out of turn here,but if your wife was concernd for you and your health,would she realy want you to keep a testicle that is causing you so mutch pain.

Would you have wanted your wife to keep any sort of her body that was causing so mutch pain to her,i know for me i wuld rather have he person and a few bits less,than to have a loved one who is living in so mutch pain.

I know for you to have your testicle removed could be a big be a big thing,but better to left with no testicles than to have sutch pain.

We had a long talk in the park. Then I went back to the urologist. There is one last med to try but actually it will only deal with the pain.

For me the pain the the testes is something I need taken care of.

We have both come to accept that orchiectomy is the most likely method open to us. I think she wanted me to be sure I had exhausted all other venues. Also she remembered the level of pain I had last time.

Also I think the the the guilt issue on her part about the sexless marriage for the last 5 years.

Anyway it is all sorted now. I have to get more information about HRT.

I asked her about implants and she said I do not really need them (which is of course true) in which case I replied that men tend to have the scrotum removed as well.

Different culture over here, some things take baby steps to get there.

And in response to your comment about her pain, it was me who supported her when she got the radical hysterectomy for her chronic pain condition. I think the difference for her is that her's was something that was testable and there was evidence of a problem, mine is a little more vague, with the history of bell clapper deformity, intermittent torsion and repeat orchiopexies.

[RichTOwen (imported)]

Wellesley,

I can't tell you how to proceed, but I can tell you my story. Pain medications can actually be a *BAD* thing when it comes to testosterone levels. I spent several years on high dose opiod pain medications to try and control severe headache pain. This eventually killed testosterone production in my body.

When I went on replacement testosterone therapy, I had reactions to the patches and the gel that made it such that I could not use either version. They tried a skin test to see if I would be allergic to injected testosterone (Testosterone Cypionate) and it showed a massive allergic reaction. I spent six months with an allergist being de-sensitized to the injections.

A year after that I started having *SEVERE* orchalgia--pain in both testicles. It put my headaches to shame, and the pain medications I was taking regularly did nothing to keep the pain controlled. I went through two urologists (first one dismissed the pain as 'insignificant' so he could try to focus on a different issue). They found nothing other than the pain was coming from testicles.

I had two nerve block surgeries which both failed inside two months. I was finally faced with an implant to try and control the pain or orchiectomy. I had to get a referral from my regular urologist to a top-notch hospital because the regular urologist wouldn't consider the orchiectomy. The one at the good hospital suggested and was willing to perform the surgery. February of last year I had a simple bilateral orchiectomy.

I see an endocrinologist regularly, and he monitors my testosterone levels. The pain is gone and I still can function normally. When I had testosterone levels of 20-35 I was falling asleep regularly, having difficulty concentrating, faced gynecomastia, difficulty attaining and maintaining erections, low energy levels, all in all, many of the know side effects of low testosterone.

I take one testosterone injection now every two weeks. My wife and I still have an active sex life. She doesn't mind that I have lost my testicles, she is happy to know that birth control is taken care of on two levels now.

Losing your testicles is not the end, especially with replacement testosterone.