My life

[butterflyjack (imported)]

I'm so glad to hear you're well, Danya...These last few years have been exciting and life-changing for you, to say the least...You're one tough cookie(another idiot phrase)..

smooches m'luv Jackie

[Danya (imported)]

Thanks for your kind remarks, Jackie! I'm attempting to find a job arrangement that would eventually allow me to move back to Chicago or somewhere else in the USA. This may yet work. If not, I'm now finding more jobs in my field, and in MPLS/SP, than I can apply for and recruiters are aggressively courting me. In the next few days, I have interviews for three permanent jobs.

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___________
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__

___

______________________
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____________ ____

__________________

____________________________

___________

_____

Although I still have

pain, cannot sit,

and dilating is more difficult (and

painful

) than it should be, all of these things are

improving. Walking i

s the one exercise I'm allowed to

do, and I

walk for at least an hour most days. This

helps. W

ith the help of a friend and one of my roomma

tes, I c

onstructed a better cushion out of kneeling p

ads, foa

m rubber, part of a pool noodle, plywood and

duct tape. It is the bes

t cushion I've used, although

none wi

ll be totally comfortable.

With all these ch

anges for the better,

I'm starting to feel back to my

'normal', whatev

er that is , self. These last few m

onths ha

ve been difficult.

I am happy that my hair n

ow hangs slightly below

my shoulders and, in front, I

can bru

sh it down to my mouth -->:D I'm still using

a wig, b

ut will probably go without it within a few m

onths. Not having t

he advantages of a natal girl's ch

ildhood,

I will need help with styling my hair. One r

oommate told me to just

put some kind of thingamajig

in my ha

ir. I had no clue what she was talking about!

____________________

______________________________ __________________________________________________
[/quote]
________________

As a T, straight member of LGBTAQI..... I am excited by recent gay marriage progress in California, Washington state and New Jersey. This is all gratifying because in days gone by, I was an advocate for these rights through work with the NGLTF and with a very effective church-related rights group. My role was not large, but these events and others make my realize how important individual participation really is.

[Mac (imported)]

Hope you are successful in being accepted for one which interests you.

[Danya (imported)]

Thanks, Mac.

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_
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__________________________________________
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This is truly one of the most difficult times of my life. I wrote an email to a friend about feelings I have been wrestling with tonight. What I needed to write was too personal for this site. Writting out my feelings was all I needed to feel calm again. So there was no need to bother my friend; I did not send the email but saved the draft.

Most of the time, I am doing well and feel upbeat. Occasionally, though, I struggle as I continue to deal with pain, feelings of loss related to leaving Chicago and unemployment. The last is the most difficult, after 2 1/2 years of multiple jobs followed by stretches of down time. Missing Chicago is of lesser concern, but still bothersome. The pain I am working through

I have three jobs that I am under active consideration for and there are more on the horizon. I never give up, and know that something good will happen soon.

[Danya (imported)]

At the suggestion of my physical therapist, I joined a health club so that I can exercise in their pool. Before walking/swimming in the pool, I needed a swim suit. I shopped around looking for a bargain. This was the first time I had really looked at women's swim suits as something I would wear. I've never needed one before. Initially, I was surprised at how skimpy they are and thought 'you've got to be kidding'. I finally found one I liked at about the least expensive price around.

This morning, I made it to the pool and had a great time. With my pelvic floor dysfunction, I'm not allowed to do the breaststroke. It's the only way I can swim reasonably well. I managed to do a few laps using my arms alone. During the rest of my pool time, I walked in the water and did leg raises.

After my pool workout, I sat in the whirlpool. I left the club very relaxed but also very wet. I did not know I needed to bring my own towel! Fortunately, our unseasonably warm winter is continuing and the outside temperature is close to 60 F.

Getting out helped relieve some of my cabin fever. Not being able to sit keeps me at home most of the day. When I must drive, I use my custom made cusion but it is not comfortable. The important thing is it elevates my sensitive area so it does not touch the seat surface.

With a sunny, warm day ahead I will drive to the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum to walk. I may also find some early spring flowers to photograph.

I've been to two sessions with my physiscal therapist. I think her work and my exercises are starting to help. Like my gynecologist, she has worked with trans women before. Several had the same pain symptoms as me.

[Danya (imported)]

DISCLAIMER: Although I may write some negative things about Minnesota and the Twin Cities, I lived in Minnesota for 9 years before leaving for Chicago. There are many good things about Minnesota. I'm continuing to have trouble, however, readjusting to being here. Part of the problem is that I have never before moved back to a place I left by choice. Another part of this is the "you can never go home again" thing. I cannot fully explain it, but I feel out of place here now. I did not feel that way before leaving.

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__________________________________________________ __________________________

______
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Th

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is morning was the first time I felt better after physical therapy! Hooray! This

was my
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ent. It may well be another 4 to 6 weeks before I start to notice a large improvemen

t.
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At my PT's suggest

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ion, I bought a kick board to use in the health club pool. Never having used one bef

ore, I
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t to expect. What I found is that I couldn't kick much at all. It's likely I need

to po
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__________________________________________________ ______________________________

______
[/quote]


I volunteered for a short-term committee assignment

that involves bring a performer to the Twin Cities who addresses transgender issues throug

h his art. This is a good cause and it will get me out of the house.

__________________________________________________ _____________________________________

Spring arrives today and, thanks to the extraordinarily warm winter and recent string of record-setting temperatures, the g

[Danya (imported)]

I'd like to be able to say I'm getting better adjusted to being back in Minnesota. I suppose I am; things seem better, in some ways, than when I first moved here, although I continue to feel I do not belong. It's not as if I'm not trying. Today, I went to the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum to take photos of the amazingly early spring blossoms. At the entrance gate, I showed the attendant my still active pass

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the Chicago Botanic Garden. The
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arboretum accepts this for admission. He told me that he and his wife love the Chicago Botanic Garden and go there several times a year. Hearing this did not help. I thought taking pictues would help. It did not.

I've have probably written this before. When I moved to Chicago, it was only partly for better job prospects. I did, though, find a contract job after 'only' 2 1/2 months of being there. I also chose the Chicago region because I have always wanted to live there. Being there for roughly 20 months did not change my opinion.

For now, my confidence is down. I think this is mostly because I'm still dealing with often intense pain from p

elvic floor dysfunction. I feel

isolated and I cannot get out much to meet current friends and meet new folks. Yes, this is a large part of it. I remember when I moved back to the Twin Cities I felt very hopeful.

I'm trying hard to find a permanent job, and have another phone interview Wednesday. I wonder, though, how I would hold down a job with this pain. I'd have to manage somehow. I hope my physical therapist is correct when she says my pain should start to lessen in a few weeks. I see her tomorrow and will speak with her about where she now see things.

[Mac (imported)]

Thought you would have a job by now.

[butterflyjack (imported)]

It's good to hear from you Danya..Sorry about your pain issues...but that bit of hope from your last therapy is a good sign.....smooches Jackie

[Danya (imported)]

Thought you would have a job by now.

I thought so, too. As it is, it can take much longer to get hired for a permanent job. In addition, the job market is still somewhat tight here in the Twin Cities. Also, the more yo

u make the longer it tends to take to land a job.

It's good to hear from you Danya..Sorry about your pain issues...but that bit of hope from yo

ur last therapy is a good sign.....smooches Jackie

I saw my physical therapist today, and although I know the therapy will never be fun I enjoy seeing her. It's a chance to get out and talk to a real, live person. Today was no exception and we chatted a lot. She added two more exercises to what I do at home, which is fine with me.

At the end of the appointment, I asked how much longe she thought I'd need to see her. For this problem, she typically see patients roughly 12 times. Today was my sixth visit, so I'm halfway there. When we finish, I should be much improved. It will still be several months to be back to normal.

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