My life

[Danya (imported)]

Before leaving the office shortly before noon, I spoke with my young woman friend/mentor whom I work closely with. She's temporarily filling in for my boss who has been out of town for over a week. Without giving her all the details, I wanted to explain my frequent absences this week. I have always liked her and she came through today. She told me not to worry about the office. She reiterated that she knows meetings I run without her are 'in good hands.' She wished me well, too.

The hospital/clinic complex is near downtown Chicago. As I drove there, I was running through some relaxation techniques. Not to the depth I go when I am home, though. These methods are often so effective that I fall asleep before I finish.

By the time I arrived, I was relaxed. After parking the car, I had to walk through several buildings to get to the cardiology center. I continued to think positively as I walked. I want to emphasize that thinking of the caring thoughts from people here really helped.

After filling out the doctor's paperwork, I had a 10-minute wait. This time, I went further with the relaxation routine and was nodding off when the doctor's assistant called my name.

She ran an EKG and, unlike Wednesday, I did not feel at all anxious. When we were done, I sat on the exam table. She laid the EKG traces on the desk as she entered my medications in the computer. I could see from the exam table that the new EKG showed the same 'abnormality' as the first. I was still able to remain calm and, while remaining very hopeful that all would work out, I accepted the possibility that I might need to cancel surgery. I did not dwell on that, though. She later left the room with the EKG results.

When the cardiologist arrived, I liked him immediately. He was gentle and understanding. He proceeded to do a thorough physical exam. When then discussed my family history and my existing medical conditions.

As he got up to leave the room, he asked if I wanted him to fax the results to my surgeon. This surprised me. I asked if this meant he felt it was fine for me to go ahead with surgery. He responded that he needed to take 10 -15 minutes to go over everything. When he returned we would discuss everything. I got the impression, though, that he would sent a positive report to Dr. Brassard.

I was surprised, and glad, that I maintained my cool while waiting for him.

When he got back, he said he did not think there was any cause for concern. He recommended that, in view of my family history, I take the stress echocardiogram test. He was very reassuring and emphasized that this was a precaution. During the physical, he heard no evidence of significant blockage in my carotid or femoral arteries. He added that the EKG abnormality was 'non-specific,' and very likely not a problem.

In 1994, after an alarming stress test EKG, a stress echocardiogram clearly showed I had nothing to be concerned about.

Monday, at 2 PM, I will have this final test. The cardiologist will call me with the results within 24 hours. I feel confident all will be well, with just a little impatience to know that ASAP.

[quote="Danya (imported)" time=12

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[butterflyjack (imported)]

It's so good to hear you're well...smooches dragonfly

[Danya (imported)]

Thanks, Dragonfly.

I continue to feel calm. I cannot thank folks here enough for all the support and encouragement I have received. Not just during my recent anxiety attack, but along every step of my journey, beginning sometime in late 2007.

I just checked my passport status and it is being processed. According to regulations for expedited passports, once it reaches the processing stage it should take no longer than 5 business days for completion and mailing. I should receive it well before the next possible government shutdown date of March 18.

I was thinking 'potential friend' when the organist met me this morning, as I arrived to practice. She immediately grabbed the stack of music I brought to look it over. I arrived with both piano and organ works. This was the best part of the morning for me, because as she looked over my music, we enthusiastically shared how we felt about many of the compostions. She pointed out sections she particularly enjoyed, as did I. I felt that I had found someone from 'home' who could read and understand the same musical language as me.

It has been many years, going back to at least 1983, since I have so immediately connected with another musician. Both then and now, it seems that we have shared insights and enjoyment of very similar things.

I practiced the pipe organ for only 45 minutes. There were other activities going on that curtailed my playing time. Still, it was a rewarding experience. This was the first time anyone was around to listen. I did not feel ready for this because I need more time to get back to the level of playing I'm used to. If the organist and I had not so quickly and effortlessly connected, I might have asked her if she wouldn't mind not sitting right next to the organ as I played. When I'm back to good playing form, this will not bother me at all.

Most trained organists wear leather dance shoes, meaning the soles are leather, too. Many organ works, and good hymn playing technique, require one to use both feet on the pedal "keyboard" of several octaves. This is what I'm used to, and the leather shoes provide enough support for confidence while enabling me to feel exactly where my feet are.

Because of an ankle injury, this organist plays in her socks. Knowing we didn't have much time, she said "just play in your socks." In my past life, I would not have agreed to this. This time, I agreed although I knew I would make more mistakes. After I played for 10 minutes or so, she left the room. She went to speak with the choir director who said "You're not in the church so who's playing the organ?" He knows me and she told him it was me. He had never heard my playing, either.

When she returned, she told me his comments and added how impressed he was with my playing. I felt honored. The music director is a very fine musician. I look forward to more practice time, though, so that I can regain all of my skill. I was struggling through parts of a long, difficult Bach Prelude and Fugue that I used to be able to play well.

I told the organist that I'm preparing for a piano recital. She told me I could use the church and its very fine piano, inviting congregation members and others, too.

While I'm in the planning, and practicing, stage for a recital I know I will not be ready for several months, at least. I want to leave time in my schedule for socializing, too. If I meet a nice man (or perhaps even a nice woman), I can see myself ditching my recital plans in favor of working on a friendship, whether or not it might lead to more.

I didn't go out to a movie to celebrate last night. Instead, I played the piano. I may go to a late show tonight.

After church tomorrow, I will drive to the Chicago Botanic Garden and take a long walk. I'm more reluctant to make the one-way trip of 20 miles now, as gas prices have gone up a lot. I can almost justify it if I avoid taking the long way home. That winds down the shores of Lake Michigan to downtown Chicago. The views of the lake are terrific and I always enjoy watching what's happening on the lake. Whether it is calm or filled with crashing waves. Spending time at the garden, where some early spring bulbs are sprouting, feeds my spirit. Just as the drive down Lake Michigan does.

There are times when I go out on drives when I leave my camera behind. I usually regret missed photo opportunities, so I will take it along tomorrow.

[Caith721 (imported)]

Danya, I'm glad to hear your EKG went well and I'm certain the stress test will only confirm it. Rather than consulting a surgeon, see if you can review both your EKG and stress test results with an anesthesiologist. Specifically, the "mets" (metabolic equivalent) capacity is what my anesthesiologist said completely overruled my inverted segment that was originally so concerning. What the anesthesiologists care about is your body's (metabolism's) ability to process and clear the anesthesia from your tissues in a normal time frame without causing any undue strain/stress on your heart and lungs.

I'm certain with all the legwork involved in playing the pipe organ, you don't have anything to worry about. You're very likely a lot more fit and capable than the majority of patients, it's just your slightly abnormal EKG that raises everyone's concerns unnecessarily.

[Danya (imported)]

Danya, I'm glad to hear your EKG went well and I'm certain the stress test will only confirm it. Rather than consulting a surgeon, see if you can review both your EKG and stress test results with an anesthesiologist. Specifically, the "mets" (metabolic equivalent) capacity is what my anesthesiologist said completely overruled my inverted segment that was originally so concerning. What the anesthesiologists care about is your body's (metabolism's) ability to process and clear the anesthesia from your tissues in a normal time frame without causing any undue strain/stress on your heart and lungs.

Hi Caith721,

Thanks for this informaton. I don't know that I will be able to schedule a consultation with an anesthesiologist before I need to get my results to Montreal. I also need to be very careful with money, but I'll keep this option in mind if the stress echo test results are not unambiguous. I doubt this will be the case. I had a rough idea of an anethesiologist's concerns. It's good to get a clearer picture from you. I am confident the folks in Montreal will be satisfied as long as they get a good report based on the stress echo results.

Just last night, I came across the metabolic equivalent terminology. I think I will easily 'ace' the METs and other parts of the stress Echo test. I looked at the protocol standards for someone my age. The information I found shows my cardiologist is doing exactly what he should, in preparing a pre-surgery EKG report, for someone with a family history of heart problems and an 'abnormal' EKG. My father had his first heart attack in his mid-40s. This is a risk factor for me. I keep in mind, though, that until his first heart attack he had been smoking 4 - 5 packs of cigarettes a day. He started smoking when he was 18. He was also overweight.

I jokingly told that cardiologist that I quit smoking four times. I quickly explained that I have smoked a total of only 4 cigarettes in my life. At roughly 155 pounds, with a height of 5' 9 1/2", my weight is not a problem.

Today I took at very brisk walk, outside, at the Chicago Botanic Garden, for nearly an hour. I even jogged for a short while. The air temperature was about 33 F. During this time, I climbed several stone stairways multiple times. Each time, I checked my heart rate at the top. This showed three important and postive things:

1. I was able to surpass the 'target heart rate' for people my age. Not being able to reach the target rate is considered a bad sign. I knew I could do this, I just haven't checked my values lately. By the way, I don't make it a practice to regularly exceed my target heart rate.

2. After 45 minutes of brisk walking and climbing up and down 35 steps more than once, I sat on a garden bench and immediately checked my pulse. I rechecked it after another minute. It had dropped by 24 bpm. From what I read, at least, if everything is fine it should drop at least 12 bpm. So I easily surpassed the threshhold for a very good result.

3. Throughout the entire walk, stairway/step climbing at the garden, I had absolutely no chest or other discomfort or pain. I was not short of breath. At no point did I feel a need to slow down or rest.

Another benefit was feeling very relaxed when I got back to my car.

My brisk, long walk today is not the same as having a stress echo test. Still, I continue to feel confident all will go well tomorrow afternoon.

I'm certain with all the legwork involved in playing the pipe organ, you don't have anything to worry about. You're very likely a lot more fit and capable than the majority of patients, it's just your slightly abnormal EKG that raises everyone's concerns unnecessarily.

I agree with you and think I am more fit that most people my age. I also feel that the stress echo test will be A-OK. As soon as I get the report, which may not be until Tuesday, I will share the results here.

Thanks for providing more information and additional encouraging words. This really helps and I very much appreciate it.

Hugs,

Danya

[Danya (imported)]

Since I made the test appointment Friday, I have kept in mind exactly what not to eat 24 hours before the test, scheduled for 2 PM tomorrow (Monday). I've been avoiding these things since I late Friday. Tonight, I finally went to a movie. I was really calm. I also forgot to avoid chocolate, which contains caffeine. I love chocolate, although I rarely have it. Tonight, I ate quite a few chocolate covered Reeses Pieces as I watched the movie. Although I seldom go to movies, when I do I always have something with chocolate. Apparently, it's almost a reflex action for me.

I'll call the hospital in the morning to let them know the situation. They'll likely be able to reschedule for Tuesday. I want to get beyond this, so I'm surprised I'm only mildly upset by the likely delay.

Saturday night, I was speaking with an account rep on the phone. He said "You sound so calm." I told him "I am calm." Unfortunately, today I may have been a little too calm for my own good.

Since Wednesday, I've gone from panic and major distress to feeling everything will be fine. It will be if I follow directions so I can have the test, possibly waiting until Wednesday to hear the results.

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I just checked this hospital's web site for info on the stress echocardiogram. This says that even tea (which is certainly caffeinated) is fine as long a you don't have any closer than 3 hours before the test. I'll still check with the cardiologist's office first thing in the morning.

[Caith721 (imported)]

Just last night, I came across the metabolic equivalent terminology. I think I will easily 'ace' the METs and other parts of the stress Echo test. I looked at the protocol standards for someone my age. The information I found shows my cardiologist is doing exactly what he should, in preparing a pre-surgery EKG report, for someone with a family history of heart problems and an 'abnormal' EKG.

<snip>

Thanks for providing more information and additional encouraging words. This really helps and I very much appreciate it.

You're very welcome, dear lady. I have a similar "irregular heartbeat" condition and it's always an issue, although I know from years of experience and repeated tests there's absolutely nothing to worry about. The more information we share and learn, the better off we'll all be.

[Danya (imported)]

You're very welcome, dear lady. I have a similar "irregular heartbeat" condition and it's always an issue, although I know from years of experience and repeated tests there's absolutely nothing to worry about. The more information we share and learn, the better off we'll all be.

You and so many others here are incredibly caring. That has never been more important to me than now.

I'm also trying to keep in mind what others have written.

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I called the hospital this morning and they said we could proceed with the stress echocardiogram today after all. As long as I stayed away from chocolate this morning. This was not difficult. Now I wonder if we should have postponed the test until tomorrow.

I was in high spirits as the test started, even joking with the staff.

The Stress Test treadmill part went well. I watched the EKG monitor as I exercised and did not notice any significant increase in my ST Segment Depression - my entirely non-professional take on this. I stopped the test at just over 10 minutes, after two increases in speed. I was winded but had no chest pain or discomfort. The attending cardiologist said my result was excellent and surgery should be fine. She added that the results showed my risk of a cardiac event was less than 1% over the next year.

That was before they noticed that my post test, resting heart rate was not dropping very much. The cardiologist told me what I already knew. They consider this in their evaluation, too.

Eventually, they gave me a drug to lower my heart rate so they could get the final resting Echocardiogram. Breathing the way they had told me earlier, but with the addition of holding my breath, helped the process along.

Some quick research shows that my very slow heart rate recovery might be due to a number of reasons unrelated to heart problems. One of these is anxiety (i.e., adrenaline). I was anxious during this phase of the test. I listed other non-cardiac contributors but went back and deleted them. I really do need to lighten up, just as many have told me.

The attending cardiologist asked me several times if I exercised regularly at home. She asked if I exercised on a treadmill, too. No, I don't. I basically live in a room with a bathroom. I didn't go into those latter details.

Since the stress test EKG was excellent, everything may hinge on what the Echocardiogram shows. As for my slow to drop heart rate, the attending cardiologist for the test said my cardiologist might simply recommend weight control - I can't see that I would need to lose more than 5 pounds and get more exercise.I found several articles where, if the EKG is fine, the patient's physcians's said "don't worry about it, but start exercising regularly."

I hope that the Echocardiogram will be fine and that this, combined with my excellent stress test EKG, will be more than enough to "pass" for surgery.

I'm having a tough time tonight.

[OneBallBoi (imported)]

You will make it girl.. I know you will. You have a lot of determination.

[kristoff]

With as much running around and visits to Botanical Gardens and such, not only do you put me to shame, but you are getting a lot of walking in, at least. I walk up the dang stairs and I can get winded. So don't worry about the exercise, I suspect.

BTW, got your email. Sounds like things are finally working right ! Good timing too !

Been busy as can be - haven't been responding to many emails lately, except clients (17 since Friday). Tired but flush.

You keep on doing what you are doing, you'll be just fine. You go girl!

K