My life

[Danya (imported)]

What can I say other than to wish for your ultimate happiness. I will be looking forward to seeing your post surgery posts.

:doll :

Hi Mac,

Thanks for the good wishes. I

won't have my laptop computer with me in Montreal and I may not feel up to posting for a time after my return. Most days, I concentrate on my w

ork and don't think about surgery. This is good, otherwise the time would just crawl by.

Hugs,

Danya

Hi sweety. It's good to hear from you...A wee bit of man juice has certainly improved your mood/ drive...

If nothing else, you'll never be able to say you are living a mundane, boring life..I really love your drive/ambition...Good going on the tickets to La Belle Province... Maybe you could check out some opportunities in the Montreal ar

ea...

You'd probably fit right in there...The world is your oyster; keep shucking..

smooches dragonfly

Hi Dragonfly,

No, I'm not leading a boring life. Remember, though, the old curse "May you live in interesting times." I've always had a lot of ambition, although since transitioning my ambitions have changed in some profound ways. I'm still working through that and how it all fits into my life.

I was surprised that, about 8 months after I transitioned, the Strengths Finder personality profile test (widely used in corporations) indicated that "achieving" was still one of my top five strengths. For a few months, I'd like a vacation from achieving. Lounging on a warm, tropical beach would be a wonderful break.

Strategic thinking was another one of my top strengths. I'm using that one as I consider my career path and a possible move. I'm simply reporting two of my results. There are no strengths on this test that are considered better than others. The test is merely a tool used, in part, to help groups see how they might more effectively work together.

I doubt that I would be permitted to move to Canada for a job. I'd have to have a skill in very short supply there. My age might also be a hindera[quote="

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ime=1295698860]

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Danya (

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nce. I looked into this possibili

ty about 5 years ago.

Hugs,

Danya

__________________

_______________________________

_ __________________________________________________ ___________

I just did some quick research on a number of metropolitan areas, looking for advertised jobs in my field of expertise as that relates to the regions' populations. I included the Chicago region in the comparison.

I was surprised by what I found. On a per capita basis, the San Francisco metropolitan area has over twice as many openings. Philadelphia and New York are not far behind. I was disappointed to see that Seatt

le does not have a good showing in this IT-related fie

ld. It is a very

active area for other type of IT wor

k. Even

Portland, OR turned out to be much better th

an the Chicago area. B

oston has nearly 3 times as man

y applic

able job openings. So does Washington, DC.

M

y findin

gs are merely a snapshot of the situation ove

r the last 15 days.

This is not enough information.

Despite

all this, I may well remain right here. I ce

rtainly will remain if

I am offered a permanent job wh

ere I no

w work. Over the next few months, I will do m

uch more research before

making any decision to move.

_________________________________________________

_ __________________________________________________ ______________

I am taking a very long, strategic view of my life and career. This is what I must do, I have little choice if I want to succeed in having a reasonably good standard of living as I save money for retirement. I am simply facing the facts, to the best of my ability, so I can make what are often difficult decisions. Believe me, I'd much rather spend my time playing the piano! I'll still fit that in.

There are a number of factors I am considering. One is the on-going out-sourcing of many jobs to workers in other countries. The pace of this may be accelerating. My current job is not one that can be easily out-sourced. It's also predicted to be one of the top ten fastest growing job types over the next decade. Out-sourcing has been an ongoing concern for IT jobs for a number of years. Some commentators predict that within a few more years many finance and human resource functions will be out-sourced. I need to find my way through this changing economy.

Then there is the increasing trend of corporations holding onto large profits while not significantly increasing the hiring of permanent employees. It is very possible that, at least for the next several years and possibly much longer, this will be the new business as usual. Companies may even increase their reliance on temporary workers like me for certain types of work. During and immediately after the end of the recession, they adapted to operating in a 'leaner' fashion. The number of contract workers is now higher than ever, as a percentage of the workforce. Companies don't have to pay benefits and they are able to run more flexible businesses. Several career books I've read indicate that, for older workers like me, contract work may be the best option. At least in the line of work I am in. Most contract workers I know would rather have a permanent job. These days, though, there really is no such thing as a permanent job for many of us.

I need to adapt to a work situation that is very different from what I prefer, or take my career in another direction.

This is one reason why I am considering a career change. Not a total change, but one based on my education and experience. Or a change to several simultaneous career jobs that better fit my passions. Just such an approach was recommended at several job clubs in the Twin Cities.

I may be ambitious, but the way I look at things I have no choice. I do not believe the economy is ever going to return to the way it was before the latest recession. From what I read, people are largely unaware that after at least the last several recessions, the economy never fully recovered to where it had been before those events. The changes are more obvious now because of the depth of this recession.

As I somehow work all this out, I want to allow time for enjoying life, too. That includes forming a network of friends and, perhaps, dating.

This may not make much sense. I should have been in bed an hour ago.

[Danya (imported)]

Now that we look at each other as friends, 'X' and I are getting along extremely well. Typically, I see him no more than once a week. When we get together, I'm trying out things I have been learning about gender differences. I'm pleased that this is helping, significantly, too.

Before we broke up, I called him at least once a day. Now, I call him once or twice a week.

I'm even able to talk about politics with him without getting bent out of shape. Instead of losing my cool, I accept that in this area we are very different and that it does not matter. Especially since our relationship is one of friendship only.

Although I have told some friends that I am basically apolitical, that's not strictly true. I spend little time tracking the latest political news, but I have strong views.

He considers himself a devout Catholic and attends Mass 'religiously.' He usually ducks into church just in time for the Eucharist (communion). Now when he tells me he prays that "the Holy Spirit will descend on you (me)", I just nod my head. I used to think this was a bit presumptuous, considering ... well, considering a number of things. Including the fact that I consider myself leaning toward agnosticism. Culturally, I am definitely a Christian.

NOTE: I do not want to start a political or religious discussion on this thread. I am merely stating who I am, as part of the overall picture.

I am pleased that 'X' continues to do volunteer work for "Equality Illinois." He's volunteering at one of their fund raisers all say Saturday. I'll be able to crash the black tie party at about 10 PM. 'X' and I will then be able to dance with the paying attendees. This will be one of my few opportunities to dress well for a special event.

"Equality Illinois" advocates for LGBT persons and bills itself of one of the top organizations in the US for this work.

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[butterflyjack (imported)]

Hi Danya. If nothing else, you are one prolific writer....Phew...and a real thinker.. How about a new picture icon? I miss your pretty face...

smooches dragonfly

[Dave (imported)]

Glad to see you survived the cold and snow and all that trauma in Chicago...

[Danya (imported)]

Hi Danya. If nothing else, you are one prolific writer....Phew...and a real thinker.. How about a new picture icon? I miss your pretty face...

smooches dragonfly

Hi Dragonfly,

In other words, I can talk a lot! Although 'thinking' is not my preferred way of approaching matters (i.e., by my Myers-Briggs personality type and other tests, I prefer to have my feelings lead the way - I agree with these test results, too), I am able to look at all kinds of things rather analytically. I am glad people like you notice this. Thanks. Analytical thinking is exactly what I need to do in my

career as a business analyst/systems analyst.

I may put up an avatar showi

ng part of my face.

Hugs,

Danya

Glad to see you survived the cold and snow and all that trauma in Chicago...

Hi Dave,

It's great to hear from you! The blizzard was bad and one of the worst in the city's history. For a brief time, the folks in the know had downgraded the storm to the 4th worst since records have been kept. Now, it's back in 3rd place.

All of the snow made traffic a headache for a number of days. Some lanes on major streets, and even interstates, remained unplowed for a time.

For at least the next 7 days, high temperatures will be above freezing. This is more typical for this time of year. Sometim

e next week, it may even approach 50 F.

[quot

[Danya (imported)]

Things are over for 'X' and me. I knew this time would come, but it's still difficult. Realizing I did not want anything more than friendship with him, I have encouraged him to date. He has protested that he wants no more of that until he finishes school.

When I arrived at the downtown gala last night, I searched for 'X.' When I found him, he was speaking with a young (genetic) woman. This did not bother me. What did bother me was that he gave me a curt greeting and resumed his conversation with this woman. She piped up with "Aren't you going to introduce us?" Then he did and immediately returned to ignoring me.

I thought surely he would come to dance with me at some point. He did not and after 40 minutes I left. He was still speaking with "I." This was rude, to say the least, since he had invited me to the event specifically to dance with him.

This morning, he admitted he had behaved poorly last night. I agreed! I told him it seemed he and "I" had something going between them. He said he had spoken with her for several hours and found her interesting. He is going to see where things go.

I understand his need for a more intimate relationship and I wished him well. I will miss having a male companion to share inexpensive dinners and movies. That's the hard part for me. I'm feeling a bit down about this today. I tend to understate certain types of feelings. What I really mean is, I'm feeling very down about this.

Right now, it's not helping that I know he is not the right man for me. I feel awful. I cannot deny that I still harbored some loving feelings for him. I will take more action to connect with new people. Spending time with 'X' was getting in the way of that.

On March 4, it will be one year since I moved to the Chicago area. Since then, I've moved two more times within the metro area. This has not been easy and it has made it more difficult start forming friendships. Despite our difficulties, 'X' helped anchor me. I have known him since mid-May of last year.

Everyone was too busy partying last night for me to network. The only good thing I got out of the event was that I got to dress well and get out.

[JessicaH (imported)]

I have chatted with you online for years, even under a different screen name... so I was a real treat to speak with you on the phone last night. I meant it last night when I said to please call anytime you feel lonely or down but I'd love to hear from you when things are GOOD, too!

It's been wonderful and helpfull to follow your story from the beginning. I know you originally had another screen name but I still don't have a clue what it was....lol.

Love, Stacy

[Danya (imported)]

I have chatted with you online for years, even under a different screen name... so I was a real treat to speak with you on the phone last night. I meant it last night when I said to please call anytime you feel lonely or down but I'd love to hear from you when things are GOOD, too!

It's been wonderful and helpfull to follow your story from the beginning. I know you originally had another screen name but I still don't have a clue what it was....lol.

Love, Stacy

Hi Stacy,

I was great speaking with you last night. Usually, things are good for me. Right now, I'm just a bit more stressed out than usual. I enjoyed learning some things about your life and how you are doing.

Career decisions, thoughts of perhaps moving again to a place I might spend the rest of my life, ongoing major expenses for transitioning, switching to a different antidepressant and my continued contract employee status are all contributing to my stress level. Even positive changes produce stress for most people. I predicted some months ago that 2011 might prove to be one of my most difficult years. I think I was right.

I know I will find my way through all of this. It's very helpful to know I can speak with supportive people like you.

Love,

[quot

[Danya (imported)]

He wrote to me that he would, of course, still take my calls as long as he was not in class. I wished him well but let him know I would not contact him again.

I cannot believe I'm once again going through these feelings of loss over this man. At least it's easier this time.

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

I think of this sort of thing as lessons that could not be had for any money - although the price paid can be high in other ways. --FLO--