My life

[butterflyjack (imported)]

Smooches sweety, and happy new year.

Sooo... You really want to be that brazen hussy jumping in the stud's flatbed Ford...Hehe...I gotta look around for an old converted Ford P/U...There's a few of them around here...It's Northern redneck country...Climb in baby, and let's go for a ride. All things come to he/she who waits, and climbs in...

Tata hon dragonfly

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

You may not be a "hussy" but it is good to feel wanted. --FLO--

[Danya (imported)]

You may not be a "hussy" but it is good to feel wanted. --FLO--

Absolutely, Uncle Flo. I hope that, one day, I have someone to share life with.

My trans woman English friend, who is now in her early 70s, recently found a male partner. It's never too late.

__________________________________________________

________

For now, I'm out of ideas for posts. Who knows what might pop into my head tomorrow, though, or the next day. At the least, I will post monthly updates.

[butterflyjack (imported)]

Monthly? I hope more like daily...I need my daily dose of Danya...smooches

dragonfly

[Mac (imported)]

Hi Dragonfly,

The only reason I see my psychiatrist is for medication refills. We always have a good conversation that runs over into his next scheduled appointment. I've had a lot of help over the years working through my problems, so I consider myself lucky that I can get by on my own now.

I won't comment on your fantasies. You can enjoy those in the privacy of your own home.

Hugs,

Danya

I would like to be able to openly enjoy my true fantasy (real desire) with my wife and in public with her and others.

[Danya (imported)]

Monthly? I hope more like daily...I need my daily dose of Danya...smooches

dragonfly

If I come up with something I want to write about, I will post sooner. No one needs a daily dose of me. There are many interesting people on this site with very good things to say.

[Danya (imported)]

I'm still crazy about downtown Chicago. Over the last three days, I've been there three times. My current avatar is a photo I took this evening. The reddish-hued flood light lit metal structure is part of the Jay Pritzker Pavilion in Millenium Park, backed by the 83-story Aon Center and, to the right, a certain health insurance tower. Being there reminded me of the many fine concerts I enjoyed at this spot during the warm months.

Unlike most companies, mine had today as a holiday instead of New Years Eve. I took the day to visit two more places 'X' and I had spent time together. This is all part of the process of reclaiming them for myself.

Late this morning, I drove to the Lincoln Park Conservatory where I spent 90 minutes. After that, I spent 4 1/2 hours at the Art Institute and for the first time took my camera. Between the two locations, I took 354 photos.

At the Art Institute, non-flash photography is allowed except in special exhibits. Even there, they make exceptions. I got the shot I've been wanting since I first viewed the new Modern Wing entrance way, with its spare but elegant long, multi-level lobby that overlooks the equally modern Millennium Park.

In one of the temporary exhibit areas, there was a cool window covered in 'switchable' triangular films. The window is connected to a sensor on the roof that measures wind speed. The many triangular segments alternate between opaque and transparent based on the wind speed and they do so at random. This window overlooks the main lobby to the Modern Wing. The effect is startling.

In the Japanese exhibit, I took a photo of one of the art works. Immediately, a guard came up to me and said "No photography." They didn't grab my camera and demand I erase the photo, so I've still got that one.

Marc Chagall's gorgeous blue-hued stained glass "American Windows," which he created for the Institute to celebrate the country's bicentennial, were on display again. I've always like Chagall's paintings. This was the first time I'd seen some of his stained glass.

It was easy to take photos of the art on display. The lighting was perfect, so I seldom needed to make camera adjustments. I had two lenses with me. One is a multi-purpose wide-angle to telephoto lense. The other is a wide aperture lens that is great for low light conditions.

__________________________________________________

_________

Early this evening, I saw my HRT doctor for a check-up 3 weeks after starting injectable estradiol. We spoke for an 1 1/2 hours, mostly about non-medical things.

I told him that, while some note how difficult it is for a post-op trans woman to meet a man who will be interested, my response was b***-s*** to that. I'm not saying this will ever happen for me. I think it is entirely possible, however. My doctor agreed, saying I have a lot to offer the right man.

We spoke of other things like having a life goal of becoming the most complete people we can be. When he said this, I wondered if he were a Myers Briggs type INFP like me! At the age of 80, he is still becoming more fully himself.

He asked if my breasts were very sore. "Yes!," I told him. There are time now when I cannot sleep on my stomach for just this reason. I'm fine with this.

I told him that, the day after I do an injection, I have a sharp pain in my upper right abdominal area. I suspected this might be a gall bladder problem. He thought so too. I'll need to have a scan to see what's going on. My blood work shows no problems in this area but you never know. The good news is that he says he can give me medicine to dissolve any gallstones if the scan is positive.

Money is tight and, although I am fortunate to have one more month of COBRA coverage, I have a $750 deductible for medical tests. I do not know how so many people get by without health insurance. Many have no choice. They are considered uninsurable. I may go a time with no insurance because I'm considered uninsurable, too.

This can also be a problem for finding a permanent job. Unless the company is large, many are leary of taking on older workers because of concerns over their generally higher health costs. I'm not losing sleep of this, but it concerns me.

__________________________________________________

________

For the last few days, I have been thinking I may be too 'vanilla' for the Archive. It's a great place. I'm just not sure I fit in. I accept that there is a continuous range of gender identities between the 'male' and 'female' poles. I'm supportive of everyone, whatever their identity. Other than

being a male-to-female transsexual,

though, my life and inclinations seems rather

ordinary when I look at posts on some other threads.

__________________________________________________ ___________

The International Consumer Electronics shows opens this week in Las Vegas. My company will unveil something new there. Although I have only worked for them 7 days, a few minor

contributions I made are part of the "show and tell."

__________________________________________________ ______________

If I can find the money, I will start taking advanced pipe organ lessons. The last time I did this was several years ago in the Twin Cities. I'm finding it difficult to not play and I'd like to improve my skills

, particularly in improvisation, where I am a novice.

__________________________________________________ _____________

Finding this much to 'talk' about has been a stretch. I'm still not very motivated to write, which is unusual.

[Danya (imported)]

I just realized why I am not motivated to write. I miss having someone special in my life and, although 'X' was not suitable for me, we had many fun times together. I often spent several evenings, and part of a weekend, with him. Not doing that leaves a void that I don't seem to be able to fill.

I'm surprised that I'm feeling this way. Before I met him, I led a full life and did many activities on my own. I rarely felt lonely. I need to not only get out of the house, as I did today, but find activities where I can socialize. I spend too much time alone and need to take the time to build a support network in Chicago.

[butterflyjack (imported)]

The idea that you are too vanilla for these pages is malarkey. You are perfect for here. You epitomize here.

You're still sad for your breakup with X...You may well miss the intimacy he offered...I can see this... The doctor was so right when he said you have much to offer a man...I can see some old guy jumping through his ass to get at you..

Someone like me, for instance...smooches dragonfly

[Danya (imported)]

The idea that you are too vanilla for these pages is malarkey. You are perfect for here. You epitomize here.

I'm not at all sure about that. This is the 'Eunuch' Archive, after all. As someone here once told me, though, this is a site that supports people with all sorts of gender identities.

You're still sad for your breakup with X...You may well miss the intimacy he offered...I can see this...

I do miss the intimacy he offered. There are several stressors in my life right now. At times, it's hard for me to figure out what's really going on.

The doctor was so right when he said you have much to offer a man...I can see some old guy jumping through his ass to get at you..

Someone like me, for instance...smooches dragonfly

How sweet! I've never heard that 'guy jumping through his ass' thing before, though. Would you mind explaining that in less colorful but more straightforward terms that a blonde, simple-minded woman like me would understand?