I have noticed, and friends who knew me before and now have too, that I talk a lot more now.
Caffeine makes me talk even more. It seems trite to say I am high on life, but in some ways I am exactly that. Not all the time, by any means. Much of the time, though, I feel like I am in the process of discovering an entire new, wonderful world. While this is still a stressful time for me, I feel fulfilled. I want to feel more fulfilled, too. I want to do many things; I will never have time for all of them.I imagine all of this talking about how terrific everything is can be difficult for friends. I have read that transitioning is a time when one is very focused on oneself, out of necessity. So much in the transitioning person's life is changing, both emotionally and physically. It can be a lot to handle. While I take lots of time to listen to friends, and help when I can, I am certain that at this time in my life I am, in a sense, self-centered. So I appreciate the people in my life who listen patiently and with some understanding.
I am still waiting to hear about 'the job.' No news is good news in this case. Better yet if I am offered this position.
Meanwhile, an agency recruiter contacted me today about a permanent job at another downtown corporation.
When I got home, I had a phone message from another recruiter about a science job, of all things. Although I have a science education and experience, I have not worked in this field for 12 years. The recruiter was still interested, even though my resume shows when I last worked in chemistry. I will return his call tomorrow.
I have spent three evenings this week
and studies. Last night, he was feeling really discouraged after learning he had nearly flunked an exam. Over an inexpensive dinner, we discussed the material to be covered in today's quiz. I felt really bad because I thought I was failing him as a teacher. I know how much he wants to succeed and he tries very hard.
I told him I thought he was getting most of the basics. He was simply finding it difficult to put it all together. Organic chemistry is a very difficult course. For a 57-year old, who has never been to college before, it can be very daunting.
Later, I called him after I got in bed to say goodnight. He mentioned he had finally figured out the answer to a homework problem. I asked him what the question was. He did not want to bother me when I was hoping to soon be asleep. I insisted.
When he described the problem to me, and his answer, I realized he did not understand a basic concept. I gently explained this to him and reviewed some other key concepts I knew would be on the quiz.
He spoke with the professor before class, who told him I had given him the right information. He trusts me on these things, but it is still good for him to get this reassurance. His teacher gave him some additional help. She may be better at this than me since she works with students regularly.
I called him around 5 PM to ask how things were going. He wound up getting an 'A' on the quiz. He was encouraged and I was very happy for him.
After work, I returned to one of my favorite places: the Chicago Botanic Garden. As I told a friend on the drive home (one of those patient friends
), all parts of the garden are filled with flowing water. From lakes and streams to fountains of many types - all provide variations on the soothing sounds of flowing water. Parts of the landscape are trimmed and shaped to mimic stones and cascading water.I am usually in a meditative frame of mind at the garden. This was particularly good for me today. On the drive from work, I was listening to a triple fugue in Brahms German Requiem and I was fascinated by it. Some chorus singers have stated that the movement with this triple fugue is one of the most difficult pieces they have sung. It is also very effective and its complex beauty does not have to be understood for one to appreciate it.
The complexity is held together, in part, by a continuous low D played on the kettle drums. This is barely heard yet it does help unify the end of the third movement.
For a time, though, I needed a break from attempting to unravel this complex work. My time at the garden did the trick.