Self Awareness

[tugon (imported)]

I want to clarify my post. When I was young I was aware that I was not your typical boy. I did not like sports or other aggressive play. I did think life would be easier as a girl but did not have that desire to become one.

It was not until my early 20's that I realized it was my testicles causing me problems. Then it was not until I was 41 that I said goodbye to them. Even though I would not have had a way to be castrated I wonder if knowing the source of my problems earlier might have helped.

[Toni (imported)]

For me it was between 5 and 6. I used to go to my female cousins house on a regular basis, dress up in her dresses and play with her dolls. Then one day I went downstairs and asked my mother whether I could have a dress like my cousins, while wearing my cousins dress. My mother gave me the worse slapping of my life (my butt hurt for days) up to that date, and threated that my father would do far worse if he was to find out. It was then that I was told it was not (therefore, I was not) the "norm". Needless to say I was never allowed upstairs with my cousin again.

It was not until I was 11 years old that I understood what my true self was/is. Still I live my life a lie for the moment. Others are from a judgemental generation. At least society (although not perfect) has in general a better understanding of the individuals right to determine their own life choice. The bigotry I witnessed and experience in my teen years, has thankfully subsided for younger people. In addition, youngsters are encouraged to express themselves, and self confidence is promoted. My generation, kids were seen and not heard (so much for the good old days).

As society progresses, and the "norm" becomes of no importance, people will hopefully be allowed to live the lives they want (without harm to others).

x Toni x :-\

[moi621 (imported)]

For me it was between 5 and 6. I used to go to my female cousins house on a regular basis, dress up in her dresses and play with her dolls. Then one day I went downstairs and asked my mother whether I could have a dress like my cousins, while wearing my cousins dress. My mother gave me the worse slapping of my life (my butt hurt for days) up to that date, and threated that my father would do far worse if he was to find out. It was then that I was told it was not (therefore, I was not) the "norm". Needless to say I was never allowed upstairs with my cousin again.

It was not until I was 11 years old that I understood what my true self was/is. Still I live my life a lie for the moment. Others are from a judgemental generation. At least society (although not perfect) has in general a better understanding of the individuals right to determine their own life choice. The bigotry I witnessed and experience in my teen years, has thankfully subsided for younger people. In addition, youngsters are encouraged to express themselves, and self confidence is promoted. My generation, kids were seen and not heard (so much for the good old days).

As society progresses, and the "norm" becomes of no importance, people will hopefully be allowed to live the lives they want (without harm to others).

x Toni x :-\

I became aware our newest deeply and thoughtfully and I hope will risk humorously

sharing uploader deserved something more then one green dash.

Bathe in your new Sun burst and golden dashes, Dear.

Moi

PS By 7 or earlier I knew I was an outcast, but not as most describe here.

Just diff. Not a gender thing. Learning disabled. Bored by most people.

[Phole (imported)]

My recollection is that I was about ten when I knew that I was different. I grew up without a good father figure (my Dad had died) and I was horribly bullied. I was constantly told that I was a fa**ot. It was a different time. Small town repressive thinking. I am pretty proud of the kid up the street who felt comfortable enough to tell me he was Bi.

[punkypink (imported)]

Sorry to hear that 'bout your dad.

Ya do know thats got nothing to do with being gay or trans or different tho.

they did a study and looked thru the family backgrounds of a lot of gay or trans people, and there was no one single factor that they all had in common with regards to family background.

I come from a very stable supportive and loving family. I'm lesbian AND trans.

[JeffEunuch (imported)]

As a child (pre-pubescent) and then more so following puberty, I was fascinated by the thought of losing my male genitalia - not trans-gender though; just no dick or balls.

So when a doc told me at age 24 that I'd be better off if my balls were removed and while I was initially shocked that a fascination might become a reality, I knew the following day that I'd be OK with their loss. I need to add that I had no desire to alter my gender, and the promise that I might have my balls amputated and retain my maleness w/ HRT made the option something I wanted badly.

A penectomy would complete the childhood fantasy.

I am curious as to others experiences and self awareness when it comes to gender issues. ....So my question is, "at what age did you know you did not fit into the norm"? I was in my mid twenties when I realized things were not as they should.