Becoming the person that I am

[graylayer02 (imported)]

It's great that there's nothing hanging there anymore. I still get hard but it's all inside now, where it belongs. The odd swelling continues to go down, and I can't stop playing with it. A big part of me wonders if I would have been able to play with myself even as a full nullo. I like that look much better than what I have, but what I have is a lot of fun to tease 'n' squeeze.

[syndrome2 (imported)]

that sounds great!

[Cuckolder (imported)]

Long time no new news, hope you´re enjoying your dickless body & life. I think meanwhile you have as well adopted to your sexual abilities that a left

[thraddash (imported)]

Hey grey,

I finally get to say happy 1 year anniversary!

Bet you haven't seen one of these in a while

[graylayer02 (imported)]

Thanks, Thraddash.

I do get to see those occasionally, but not on me. That's about right.

I should go out for seafood for dinner to commemm...comem...celebrate, but I have to eat what I have in the fridge before it goes bad.

[Danya (imported)]

Big congrats on your one year anniversary!

Today, I read your entire thread - instead of scattered posts I'd read earlier -and thoroughly enjoyed it. It seems you have come a very long way since joining the Archive. I'm glad you're here.

[graylayer02 (imported)]

Big congrats on your one year anniversary!

Today, I read your entire thread - instead of scattered posts I'd read earlier -and thoroughly enjoyed it. It seems you have come a very long way since joining the Archive. I'm glad you're here.

Thanks; that's probably an understatement. People were VERY patient with me when they didn't have to be, and things turned out in the right direction.

Given all of the pain that I went through, I don't know how you ladies can actually go all the way. Y'all have my admiration. What I did doesn't take 1/10 as much...erm...guts.

[YodaNell (imported)]

And whatever you do, don't permanently injure your penis first. It mak

es the surgeon's job that much harder.
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Well...

Given all of the pain that I went through...

Hi Gray! Good to make your acquaintance. Strange, I didn't experience ANY pain either after my castration or penectomy.

Can you still 'remember' your penis? What it felt like? If you put your hand in front of your crouch, can you still remember what it 'felt' like? (On the other hand, you still have your penile nerves intact)

Do you, at times miss your penis?

Blessings

P.S Hey Thraddash, may I direct these questions to you as well?

[thraddash (imported)]

Hi YodaNell,

I was going to wait for Grey to respond first, but I guess I didn't.

I can still feel my penis, mainly because most of it was used to construct what I have now. But all the nerves are in different places. Do you know hard it is to scratch an itch when your brain hasn't realised things have moved. Honestly, it feels like I have a lot more down there than there actually is visually. I still get "hardons", my sex drive is reduced but certainly not gone.

I have seen the pictures you've published showing the results of your endeavour. I will admit that I'm jealous in a way, although I wouldn't want to have gone through the exercise of destroying everything first. I would be happy with that result. My only concern for you is if your sexual desire has not gone away... have you figured out how to satisfy yourself in other ways?

When I feel more ready, I would like to finish off by removing the last few parts of my "manhood", and join the ranks of nullo. But now is not the time.

Thraddash

[YodaNell (imported)]

Hi YodaNell,

I was going to wait for Grey to respond first, but I guess I didn't.

I can still feel my penis, mainly because most of it was used to construct what I have now. But all the nerves are in different places. Do you know hard it is to scratch an itch when your brain hasn't realised things have moved. Honestly, it feels like I have a lot more down there than there actually is visually. I still get "hardons", my sex drive is reduced but certainly not gone.

I have seen the pictures you've published showing the results of your endeavour. I will admit that I'm jealous in a way, although I wouldn't want to have gone through the exercise of destroying everything first. I would be happy with that result. My only concern for you is if your sexual desire has not gone away... have you figured out how to satisfy yourself in other ways?

When I feel more ready, I would like to finish off by removing the last few parts of my "manhood", and join the ranks of nullo. But now is not the time.

Thraddash

Hey thraddash, nice to hear from you. Hope it's not too cold in your part of South Africa.

I know exactly what you mean. I used to get this tiny little itch where my glans used to be (just behind it, actually), but I could not scratch it! I rub everywhere on my 'fluffy' but could not find the nerve that caused the itch. The two nights ago I took my thumb and index finger on both sides of my 'fluffy' (pee-hole) and squeezed my fingers together. Then I found the source of the itch. It is a stitch about 1 1/2 cm inside my urethra that has not dissolved yet! Now, when it itches, I just squeeze the stitch and there goes the itch!!

Yes, most of my penile nerves are gone, save for a little piece (stump). Like I mentioned before, I can't remember my penis. What it felt like to masturbate with a penis. Its weird. I can still orgasm. I week, or so ago, I rubbed my fluffy on the bed because there are still orgasmic muscle contractions that spooks me every day (I think it's the newly exposed urethra that must still get used to it's greater exposure. The piece that was cut of, had YEARS of abuse). Anyway, I rubbed my fluffy on my bed and after 5 minutes I had a huge orgasm. I felt so bad because I though that removing my junk will disable my sexual abilities. I thought that by stopping T, my little stump will diminish away, which did happen, but those contractions spooks me 24 hours a day. It's those muscles that contracts when one orgasms. Many times I wake in the morning with a HUGE erection in that little stump. The stump feels like it will BURST with pressure. I think I must go see my surgeon again to remove it. The stump is only about 1 1/2 cm long.

Really, I MUST get this through to he guys. When I destroyed my penis, it was child's play! There was nothing to it...no pain, no ill effects, no clots (I used aspirin). The necrosis set in immediately after I removed that clamp. Few hours later I was at the ER. The doctors was not even too worried as my penectomy took place a few days later! They just had me on anti-biotics when I was admitted.

As I'm off T, I have no desire for sex. But even when I had, I was NEVER sorry for removing my penis. My focus is different. I AM worried about those who do such a thing, because of fantasy. They WILL become frustrated and depressed because there is NO MORE penetrative sex again...NEVER!

One thing that strikes a person the day after penectomy is the realization that it's missing. It feels weird that it's gone. You stand at a toilet and want to grab hold of it, but are 'shocked' that it's not there. I think if I still remembered my penis, I might have been very frustrated because I would want to touch it, but I can't. Forgetting is a hidden blessing.

I am (at present) still VERY happy and content with my change. I LOVE it. And...if I want...I can still orgasm...EASILY!...If I want.

My God bless you in this third world country, of ours.

Later...