Newest member of the Fellowship of the Ballless

[ghostautumn (imported)]

No, I won't be taking hormones, just vitamins to preserve my bone density.

I'm healing well, was able to go for a long walk today and carry groceries. The incision itself no longer hurts, but there's a lot of bruising below the abdomen that I'm concerned about. I have an appointment with my GP on Monday, she already knows about it and is very nice and caring. I also have a consult with the surgeon who patched me up in a couple weeks.

My emotions are definitely changing, I actually cried yesterday, which I was barely ever able to do previously because of my anti-depressants.

I'll keep you posted on my progress.

[Milkman (imported)]

Was it a good cry, letting out emotion, or maybe a sign of feeling depressed?

[ghostautumn (imported)]

Lol, just a normal response to fairly normal insecurities. It was the inability to cry that was abnormal.

[Milkman (imported)]

So true, I am on Paxil and although it has given me my life back after a rough suicidal time, I do feel somewhat numb...

[Hash (imported)]

If possible, I would suggest confiding in a friend and asking that friend to keep an eye on you/monitor you for a few months. You will definitely be experiencing some changes, physically & emotionally. Depression is a real problem for new eunuchs in general and sometimes you don't realize what's happening to you, which is why it's important to have someone else keep an eye on you. Bone density is a physical problem and everyone is different, schedule a bone scan in about 6 months. I low dose testosterone to prevent osteoporosis and to ward off depression. I could take Paxil or any number of other drugs, but a low dose regimen of testosterone works for me or at least it has until recently. (My "t" levels are around 100/125 ml's. Most eunuchs have testosterone levels of about 60-85 ml's or lower). I've recently experienced some physical changes due to increased weight gain, that's another problem for eunuchs. You will not be able to stay on your normal diet, it you do, you'll probably gain several pounds. Stay away from anything fatty or you'll become fat and that can lead to diabetes. Wish you the best and pray that all works out well for you.

[ghostautumn (imported)]

Yeah, good advice. I have a spouse who's supportive of all this and who I talk with daily. I'm feeling better than I have in as long as I can remember, but in any case I'm already on anti-depressants. I've already scheduled the bone scan and am taking all the supplements I can to deal with that. Weight gain I'm definitely concerned about, fortunately I was skinny to begin with, but I definitely don't want to gain any more than I can avoid.

[ghostautumn (imported)]

Well in a couple days it will be two weeks since my castration. For the most part it's felt like a tremendous burden has been lifted from my shoulders. I've started to notice a few hot flashes (I'm not taking HRT), and definitely increased fatigue - hopefully that will be less a permanent experience and more a symptom of my body's transitioning. Since the surgery I haven't felt any sexual desire while awake, but I have continued to have periodic sex dreams and night erections. I think I read somewhere here that it takes approximately 5 days for the testosterone produced by your testicles to metabolize and cycle out of your system, but my sense is that's probably still occurring in my case. The wound itself is completely healed over, I imagine the surgeon will probably even take out the stitches when I see him for a follow up on Tuesday (my two-week anniversary). Now that I'm starting back to work (i. e. reading at my computer), I can't say that my anxiety and nervous tension have abated much, if at all, but I wasn't expecting miracles; my modest mental transformation to date has already been an immense relief.

[nullorchis (imported)]

Hash said that you won't be able to stay on your normal diet after castration.

Don't know what your diet was/is ghostautumn. Many, if not most people seem to have an unhealthy diet regardless of emotional or physical situation.

You might consider consulting with a nutritionist or other healthy life style food consultant to develop a nutrition plan that will enable your mind and body to be in balance and at optimum performance.

Many times food, and even allergies, can alter our mental/emotional states for better or worse . It's someplace to start that many people don't start - they just go on drugs first, since that is easier. We each have our own chemistry and should consume and avoid different types of nutrition. Until you have a complete analysis done it would be impossible to suggest what you or anyone consumes or avoids. What works for me could be a disaster for you.

[Milkman (imported)]

Ghostautumn,

glad to here you are doing well and thanks for the posts...!!

[graylayer02 (imported)]

Hey Ghostautumn,

It's definitely an experience that you're going to have to experiment with, see what makes you feel good and what makes you feel like crap. Each of our experiences is different, so just simply pay attention to yourself. (My case: a worse response to sweets or alcohol, or an increased sensitivity to being touched and held.) And definitely communicate with your wife; she's a huge part of this process too. She'll notice how you change too, and listen to her. In my case I'll be going on T because of the strength and energy issues, though I LOVE being a eunuch otherwise; as a eunuch was the first time that I ever felt like myself.

Definitely keep in touch; we're all here for each other.