New here, and trying to... discover myself, I guess.

[Addicted (imported)]

Hey everyone... kinda new here, but kinda not. I've been reading stories about castration for... a very long time. I almost feel addicted to them at times.

Ballbusting, and castration stories are about the only things that get me goin'.

I'm trying to find out why that is exactly. And hoping to discover new stories... I think I've read just about all of the ones that caught my eye.

I've read every thecia story, and many more. My favorite theme is the 'hunter' theme... is that the correct term?

my two favorite stories that I can think of off-hand are: "Lucinda's Autumn harvest" and "how dare you have balls"

I simply love her character... if anyone knows where I can find more stories with characters like her, I'd be very grateful.

oh! I also love it when they have a somewhat older woman (30's or so) going after teenagers. ... I think that about covers it for stories... for now anyways. ^^;

As for trying to discover myself... I'm trying to understand why I'm so.. different. I absolutely love the ability to masturbate, and the feel of balls in my hand while I do.

So I don't think I wanted to get rid of any of that stuff... but, it's one of the few things that turns me on. I generally find pictures and movies quite boring...

Something.. kinda bad happened to me when I was little. A female did it, and... even though, it doesn't seem like such a big deal now, it did back then. I'm wondering if a seed could have been planted to turn my on to the things I like now... even if it doesn't seem like a big deal anymore?

I've also wanted to expirement with female hormones... nothing permanent I just want to know what it feels like with them in me, instead of the regular male hormones I currently have. And if I end up liking it... then, I don't know. I like my body the way it looks, but I'm not so sure about the hormones...

I think that's all I feel llike sharing for today. If you read it all, thank-you. And if you reply, i thank-you even more.

[charlenebrown (imported)]

Hi Addicted,

It is a serious and BIG decision to experiment with hormones, one which should be taken with due care and consideration. i myself am on female hormones and testosterone suppressant and am SO happy with the way i feel and am starting to look and develop.

For me it has been the best thing i have *ever* done.

So long as one is very careful and in good health to start with i think the medical risks these days dont seem so great, but it is a decision we can only ever make ourselves.

"your body, your choice "

xxxx

charlene

[Addicted (imported)]

Hello, Charlene thanks for the support. ^^

How did you go about getting your current hormone medication?

From what i hear, castration usually requires a years worth of therapy before anyone considers cutting someone. Do you have to jump through similar hoops just for hormone therapy?

[bobbie (imported)]

As for trying to discover myself... I'm trying to understand why I'm so.. different. I absolutely love the ability to masturbate, and the feel of balls in my hand while I do.

So I don't think I wanted to get rid of any of that stuff... but, it's one of the few things that turns me on. I generally find pictures and movies quite boring...

Something.. kinda bad happened to me when I was little. A female did it, and... even though, it doesn't seem like such a big deal now, it did back then. I'm wondering if a seed could have been planted to turn my on to the things I like now... even if it doesn't seem like a big deal anymore?

I've also wanted to expirement with female hormones... nothing permanent I just want to know what it feels like with them in me, instead of the regular male hormones I currently have. And if I end up liking it... then, I don't know. I like my body the way it looks, but I'm not so sure about the hormones...

I think that's all I feel llike sharing for today. If you read it all, thank-you. And if you reply, i thank-you even more.

Masturbating is normal and most find very enjoyable. Each has their own way of doing it. Think a far number do enjoy playing with their balls at the same time. There is nothing mysterious on why a person wants to masturbate.

A bad sexual experience as a child will have lasting effects. You may be able to justify why and become more accepting of the event over years.

Starting hormones is a very big step. You should have a valid reason to try. Not something that you just want to try. You are still very young. Any experiment now can have a very serious effect on your body development. The physical body may not fully develop as male.

Sounds like you may need some professional help to resolve the child experience. The fact that you still think about is showing it is still a part of your present self.

Welcome to the archive. Read the post on how female hormones effect the body. You can always ask questions in here

[charlenebrown (imported)]

Hello, Charlene thanks for the support. ^^

How did you go about getting your current hormone medication?

From what i hear, castration usually requires a years worth of therapy before anyone considers cutting someone. Do you have to jump through similar hoops just for hormone therapy?

Hi Addicted,

First of all i did months, well if i am honest a few years, of reseach to try to determine the risks, requirements dosages effects, side effects and anything else i could. When i finally decided to proceed, i had some knowledge of what i was getting into, the risk factors and what to expect. Even so , given all this , it is still a bit of an unknown.

Sadly in th Uk ther is not that much access to medical care for my needs, fully fledged transgender m - f so i had to decide if the self-medication route was something that was, at least initially acceptable to me. This decision was not made easily or taken lightly, let me assure you.

In addition, i will seek to put this all on a proper medical footing at some point, but feel that for the moment, given my extreme good health, interest in things medical, and i hope somewhat well-adgusted and balanced mental state , i can continue this path using my own wits and intelligence and monitoring for the moment.

However, to answer your question i bought my medicine from inhousepharmacy an online provider. Please note though, that the non-prescription route, necessary for self-medication is somewhat more expensive (by several orders of magnitude). The hormones purchased through inhouse seem to be genuine and so subject to proper manufacturing controls, therfore predictable in their action.

i am chemically castrated (hopefully - still awaiting return of my hormone saliva tests .....grrr 2 weeks now ) using Siterone, (a generic Androcur) and will remain so until i can embark on a full orchiectomy - castration. Perhaps, also genital reassignment surgery too. This is some way off yet.

Anyway, enough of my rambling, i hoepp this explains a little and helps

xxxx

charlene

[Addicted (imported)]

Welcome to the archive. Read the post on how female hormones effect the body. You can always ask questions in here

I'm already 19... is there really that much left to growing for me that hormone therapy could mess up my body?

I'm assuming you mean this article right?

http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=12114

[Addicted (imported)]

i am chemically castrated (hopefully - still awaiting return of my hormone saliva tests .....grrr 2 weeks now ) using Siterone, (a generic Androcur) and will remain so until i can embark on a full orchiectomy - castration. Perhaps, also genital reassignment surgery too. This is some way off yet.

Anyway, enough of my rambling, i hoepp this explains a little and helps

xxxx

charlene

You're very right.. it is quite expensive. Far too much for me at the current time.

I never knew you could just buy things like that... I guess the internet really does have everything.

Sadly, I think I'm going to have to put the possibility of using things like this on the back-burner until I actually have the money. Which might be for the best, considering there's most likely a lot I still need to learn about it.

Thank-you for sharing your time with me, I find everything about this very fascinating.

[mrt (imported)]

Yes, you are very young to fiddle around with hormones unless your truly transgenderd then I think the earlier the better.

[bobbie (imported)]

I'm already 19... is there really that much left to growing for me that hormone therapy could mess up my body?

I'm assuming you mean this article right?

http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=12114

That is one source.

The physical body can still change some in the 20's. Some of the changes you do now may not be able to be undone. Hormones are very powerful and should not be taken for granted. You may get more then you want. Would be wise to seek some professional help to sort out your desires and fantasy.

Please be very careful.

[Addicted (imported)]

Thank-you for youd advice.

Unfortunately... at the current time, I cannot seek a psyciatrist.

When anything sexual comes up, my mother simply won't hear of it... she believes (not joking) that sexual thoughts, and desires all stem from demons, trying to tempt people.

I know for a fact, that if she found out that I'm bi-curious, or... any of the other stuff, she'd throw me out on the street.