I don't understand ... Help...

[spankey2 (imported)]

Really did not know where to list this, so here it is. There are two issues I would like to discuss. One of these issues is a pet peeve with me, the other is what it is. First off is I notice that online communication is sometimes less that pleasurable. What I am talking about is the chat rooms, forums, and the way people are treated when trying to become a part of any community. First off, I have expereinced that in chat rooms, EVEN HERE, if you are not known you may be welcome, but nobody wishes to talk to you. If you haven't been there before you may find that you are not included in the chat and that if you are, most members will ignore you. Oh after you are there for like 2 months or so then maybe you will be considered a part of the community, but maybe not. It is the same in the forums. People come here to get to meet and to get questions and opinions answered and for interaction. Go down the list of posts and see how many people read an article and then how many people actually reply or respond. You will see that there is little balance if at all. Why is this? Why aren't we involved with each other.

A STORY

I was here big time about 6 years ago. My name was Scottie and that is how I posted. Due to passwords, change of computers and forgetfulness, I used the name spankey2 as that is my name now. I was castrated by injection. I almost died. Had it not been for several members comming to my aid with good advice and help I would have died. Back then I guess we cared about one another, maybe I'm old now and I don't know anything, I THOUGHT WE WERE HERE TO BE FRIENDS, HELP EACH OTHER, GET TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER AND TO LEARN TO LOVE AND ACCEPT ONE ANOTHER! Am I wrong?

The other thing is that when someone asks a question, a specific question, shouldn't there be someone out there to answer it? If not why not help that person find the answers? I have found that once again many people who I know, that know, the answers, don't want to share or help. Even if the answer is not what the person wants to hear, at least it's an answer.

I don't want to upset anyone. I WANT TO WAKE YOU ALL UP. WE ARE MUCH ALONE IN OUR CHOICES IN THIS WORLD. WE NEED TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER WITH ALL WE CAN, WE NEED TO HELP ONE ANOTHER ON OUR JOURNEY'S

spankey2 aka Scottie

[nullorchis (imported)]

Part of the problem could be due to my perception that there are too many categories and sub-categories on the board, and some of them seem redundant. I notice many people asking questions, and answers are frequently posted. On occasion I answer someone via private mail rather than clutter up the board.

The board isn't a substitute for counseling or medical treatment and there isn't a "resident counselor"; that would be a legal mine field. The board is a great resource of information, but finding information can be difficult due to the amount of material stored on the board.

Wise people don't want to tell you what to do or how to live your life; that's a great responsibility. In the past year I have learned a lot and it has helped me realize some of my past mistakes and helped guide me into not making new mistakes.

Other than that, not knowing you, it is hard to come up with a real definitive answer to your inquiry.

[spankey2 (imported)]

Part of the problem could be due to my perception that there are too many categories and sub-categories on the board, and some of them seem redundant. I notice many people asking questions, and answers are frequently posted. On occasion I answer someone via private mail rather than clutter up the board.

The board isn't a substitute for counseling or medical treatment and there isn't a "resident counselor"; that would be a legal mine field. The board is a great resource of information, but finding information can be difficult due to the amount of material stored on the board.

Wise people don't want to tell you what to do or how to live your life; that's a great responsibility. In the past year I have learned a lot and it has helped me realize some of my past mistakes and helped guide me into not making new mistakes.

Other than that, not knowing you, it is hard to come up with a real definitive answer to your inquiry.

I would just like to say that I appreciate what you are saying. I am a LISW and therapist and I would not wish to get tangeld up here with all of the issues and liability. I get it. What I dont understand is the lack of acceptance, and caring for each other. The most important thing we have is each other and the most important person here is the new member. Thank you for your coment, spakey2 aka scottie

[tugon (imported)]

I tend to read more posts than I respond to in a day. Many times I do not have the knowledge or the ability to relate to an issue. For example I have no first hand experience with chemical castration or hormone replacement. On the other hand there are those who can not respond to my situation. Oddly I signed up on an incest and rape survivors group for men and received much less support than I do here. I have felt more comfortable sharing my life at the EA in my Desperate to be a Eunuch and other posts than I did at that site.

I also have days where I can be more giving and supportive than other days. Some days my battery needs recharged before I can give to someone else. I wish I had the knowledge and training to help more since I can also be fearful of saying the wrong thing. I would hate to say the wrong thing or give bad advice and someone make a poor choice due to something I said. I wake up each day and try to do the best I can.

[kristoff]

I would just like to say that I appreciate what you are saying. I am a LISW and therapist and I would not wish to get tangeld up here with all of the issues and liability. I get it. What I dont understand is the lack of acceptance, and caring for each other. The most important thing we have is each other and the most important person here is the new member. Thank you for your coment, spakey2 aka scottie

I fail to see what you see. This is about the most accepting, open, and caring sites around. Perhaps your expectations are too high, or you remember your experience much better than you see here. I would suspect so.

[estragen (imported)]

Really did not know where to list this, so here it is. There are two issues I would like to discuss. One of these issues is a pet peeve with me, the other is what it is. First off is I notice that online communication is sometimes less that pleasurable. What I am talking about is the chat rooms, forums, and the way people are treated when trying to become a part of any community. First off, I have expereinced that in chat rooms, EVEN HERE, if you are not known you may be welcome, but nobody wishes to talk to you. If you haven't been there before you may find that you are not included in the chat and that if you are, most members will ignore you. Oh after you are there for like 2 months or so then maybe you will be considered a part of the community, but maybe not. It is the same in the forums. People come here to get to meet and to get questions and opinions answered and for interaction. Go down the list of posts and see how many people read an article and then how many people actually reply or respond. You will see that there is little balance if at all. Why is this? Why aren't we involved with each other.

A STORY

I was here big time about 6 years ago. My name was Scottie and that is how I posted. Due to passwords, change of computers and forgetfulness, I used the name spankey2 as that is my name now. I was castrated by injection. I almost died. Had it not been for several members comming to my aid with good advice and help I would have died. Back then I guess we cared about one another, maybe I'm old now and I don't know anything, I THOUGHT WE WERE HERE TO BE FRIENDS, HELP EACH OTHER, GET TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER AND TO LEARN TO LOVE AND ACCEPT ONE ANOTHER! Am I wrong?

The other thing is that when someone asks a question, a specific question, shouldn't there be someone out there to answer it? If not why not help that person find the answers? I have found that once again many people who I know, that know, the answers, don't want to share or help. Even if the answer is not what the person wants to hear, at least it's an answer.

I don't want to upset anyone. I WANT TO WAKE YOU ALL UP. WE ARE MUCH ALONE IN OUR CHOICES IN THIS WORLD. WE NEED TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER WITH ALL WE CAN, WE NEED TO HELP ONE ANOTHER ON OUR JOURNEY'S

spankey2 aka Scottie

You would seem to have many deep seated problems and to expect to find a loving and nurturing family ready to help you sort these kinds of things on a website where membership is open to anyone with a valid e-mail address is comical at best.

[BroBear (imported)]

You would seem to have many deep seated problems and to expect to find a loving and nurturing family ready to help you sort these kinds of things on a website where membership is open to anyone with a valid e-mail address is comical at best.

Estragen

While I judge your words to be true, they are also a bit harsh in light of Scotties' post.

BroBear

[Sweetpickle (imported)]

There's a guy who hangs out sometimes on the street corner near where I live displaying a "homeless" sign and asking for money. Some people give him some but

some do not.

So who is wrong here? Should we all give? Should he go to a free shelter? Is he truthful? Are those who ignore him cold and heartless?

Questions like yours seldom have simple answers.

[clysmaniac (imported)]

In response to your issue with the chat room, it has inherent limitations. If you enter your name "Scottie", what has that given others any reason to chat with you? Maybe you need a better name to attract attention and say something about your interest to make someone want to say hi. Look at names used and most give some clue to why the person is there. Businesses have billboards, you need one as well.

The other bad feature is that if you are involved in a chat, you don't see what's happening in the Lobby and who has entered. Yes, you can switch back to the lobby but it would be nice if both the Lobby and Private chats could be displayed on the screen at the same time to give a better view of activity. There certainly is enough room on a page to do that but I understand that our chat is a very simple one for whatever reason.

[spankey2 (imported)]

Hello to everyone and thank you for all the replies. I would like to make a few comments about the replys I got. Some where compassionate and some were not. some understood what I was saying and some did not. Some of us try each day to enlarge our scope on the world and some do not. There are many paradoxes here. If we are asking for help, love, consideration, acceptance from each other and from the world. It is best to give the same to each other and to the world. spankey2