Nah, Salami and I are seperate entities. I live in Chicago. We just got to chatting and have become friends. He decided to gift me with half of his family jewels. I've never wanted or had a prick before, but I figure...what the hell. The only thing is that I don't know what to do with it and he's ...

I have had a few fellows ask me to get into some penectomy or castration fantasies. I find that once I tell them that I am not interested, they don't even bother to reply to my answer. I feel that it is only natural that the straight men who are here because of a sexual castration fantasy would just ...

It was great when it all began. I was a regular Frankie fan, but it was over when he had a plan to start a working on a muscle man.

One day a friend of mine told me that I needed a mini vacation and should come to a movie with her. I did and was surprised that I had to show up at 9:00 P.M. for a ...

Mr. Huevon please keep in mind that when you speak ill of Elmo, you are speaking ill of my penis. I believe that you owe Elmo an appology for your offensive remarks.

That was affection. OK, what should I call Elmo...Monster Meat, Mega Loaf, Love Mushroom, Sweetie pie, Master?

OK, Salami, my little lunch loaf, I have altered the avatar to reflect your wish for the left half of Elmo. Before you plastinate, you must allow me to read your genitals. I wonder how long your life line is.

Now that I think about all of this...could you please not plastinate my half of Elmo? Do I get one of the balls too?

I suppose that this is as good as any place to post this announcement, so here it is. Salami has generously given ownership of half of his penis to me, and suggested that I use it as my avatar. Gee...I never had a penis before. Thank you Salami. I will give it a try if only I can think of what to do ...

That was very amusing. I sent it to my ex-husband just to have fun with him. I know I'll get a good chew out phone call from it, and then he will send it to all of his boyfriends.

Seriously, when my son was growing up, there was a little fellow named Kenneth, not Kenney or Ken, who was in his bunch ...

Now the question is where to buy some of the stuff and begin my plans for world take over.

Say, this stuff might be a possible agent for winning the war. We could give it to the arab women and they could control the men and have world peace.